Getting your wisdom teeth removed may seem intimidating, but it’s not as scary as it sounds. Thanks to modern dental technology and anesthesia, the procedure is quick and mostly painless. The surgery usually lasts under an hour. While some swelling and discomfort are normal afterward, ice packs and pain relievers can help manage it. Recovery is typically brief, with most people feeling better in just a few days. Remember, this is a routine procedure performed by experienced professionals, and the long-term benefits—like preventing future dental issues—far outweigh the temporary discomfort. So, take a deep breath, trust your dentist and soon you’ll be back to normal with a healthier smile! That is what you hear from any adult who has long forgotten the pain or terror of the endeavor altogether. Without further ado I introduce the real start of the article.
Surviving Wisdom Teeth Removal: A Funny Guide to Prepping, Panicking and Recovering with Your Dignity Intact
Why did the wisdom tooth go to therapy?
Because it had too many issues to “bite” off!
Getting your wisdom teeth removed is a rite of passage that many of us go through in life. It’s a mix of anticipation, mild panic and endless advice from well-meaning friends who have “been there, done that” – and probably have some hilarious stories to share about their post-op shenanigans. If you’re about to undergo this surgery, don’t worry! I am a survivor of one of the many worst case scenarios and have compiled an informative reading to ease your stress and hopefully give you a smile. A visit to the events of last summer shall give my credentials: I got my wisdom teeth out, I got stuck in a liquid diet, I got a nightmare case of TMJ (temporomandibular joint). I am under the impression I am qualified to explain how it could have gone better; my hindsight is 20/20 now that it’s been a few months.
Step 1: Prepare for Your Wisdom Teeth Adventure (AKA The Day Before)
Let’s be honest: You’re probably stressing out about what’s going to happen, how much it’s going to hurt, and whether or not you’ll be able to eat solid food for the rest of your life. Relax! This is an operation you’ve been preparing for your whole life—since your teeth started coming in. Here’s how to prep the day before:
- Get Your Chill On: First, remember that this is routine for dentists. It’s not like you’re being taken to the emergency room for some strange accident involving a trampoline, a watermelon and a flaming sword. So, take a deep breath, and stop imagining that your dentist is secretly a mad scientist.
- Plan Your Outfit: You’ll need to wear something comfy because, after the surgery, you’ll be laying back like a potato on a couch for the next few days. Opt for loose clothes, preferably ones with no buttons or zippers because you might find yourself in a strange, post-surgery state where you forget how to use your own hands. Bonus points if it’s a shirt with a funny slogan—you’ll appreciate it when you’re hopped up on pain meds and giggling at your own reflection.
- Stock Up on Soft Foods: This is the time to load up on mashed potatoes, smoothies, soup and ice cream. Get creative! Think of it as your personal “get out of chewing free” card. Try a soft food buffet. And yes, milkshakes count as nutrition (don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). Avoid anything that requires chewing—no, not even pizza rolls.
- Confirm Your Ride: You will be sedated. Do not trust yourself to drive afterward. If you can’t find a friend who’s willing to take you to and from the dentist, just offer them a share of your newly acquired ice cream and movie life-style while you heal.
Step 2: How Not to Panic
It’s finally here—the day when you lose your wisdom… teeth. Sure, you’ll be tempted to worry about things like the possibility of drooling in front of strangers or telling your dentist that you’re secretly a superhero. But don’t fret! I got some tips to keep you cool (or at least sedated and slightly humorous):
- Remember: You’re Not Alone: Pretty much everyone you know has had their wisdom teeth taken out. The good news is that it’s mostly a “sleep and wake up” type of situation, meaning your job is simply to show up, let them work their magic, and relax. You’ll be waking up with a whole new attitude (and maybe an occasional drool situation, but that’s part of the fun).
- The Anesthesia is Your Best Friend: If you’re nervous, remember that anesthesia is a magical thing. When they give you that numbing stuff, you’ll feel as calm as a sloth at a spa. If you’re lucky, you might even say some outlandish things under its influence, like asking your dentist if they believe in ghosts or claiming that your cat can speak French. Just go with it. Everyone loves a good post-surgery story.
- Avoid the Urge to Google: Seriously, don’t do it. Don’t fall down the rabbit hole of “how to prepare for wisdom teeth removal” YouTube videos. The more you watch, the more you’ll convince yourself that something catastrophic will happen, and we both know that’s not true. Google can’t help you with your paranoia.
- Laugh at Your Own Expense: If you say something utterly ridiculous under sedation (like, “I’m the ruler of the world!”), don’t fight it. The people around you will enjoy it. It’s better than, say, panicking about how much your face might swell up like a balloon. Be prepared for awkward moments, like possibly calling your dentist “Voldemort or Zorro” or telling them that they look like a celebrity you can’t quite name. It’s okay. They’ve heard it all before.
Step 3: After the Surgery – What Now?
Now that you’ve survived the actual surgery, you’re faced with the aftercare portion of your journey: the swelling, the ice packs and the sedative hangover. All will be well in due time, just stay patient and don’t get overzealous.
- Swelling is Normal (But Hilarious): You will probably look like a chipmunk who has just discovered a stash of acorns.You probably won’t like it but it is normal. Try not to get freaked out by the puffiness; remember that it’s temporary. If you want to take some funny selfies and send them to your friends, now is the time.
- Ice Packs Are Your Best Friend: Ice packs are not only essential for reducing swelling, but they can also be quite entertaining. They make you feel like a professional athlete recovering from a major injury. Plus, you can use them as an excuse to chill on the couch all day (pun intended). If you’re feeling really bold, get a picture of yourself with ice packs on your face and send it to your friends with the caption: “Is this how you prepare for a life of glamour?”
- Painkillers and Naps: After the anesthesia wears off, you may experience some “discomfort” que the rolling of eyes*. Don’t be afraid to use painkillers as directed, and remember—naps are your friend. It’s okay to become a professional napper for a few days. Think of it as “self-care,” because you need all the sleep you can get to heal.
- The “Liquid Diet” Is Actually Great: You’re going to be consuming your weight in smoothies, mashed potatoes, and ice cream for a few days. Embrace it. If you have a creative side, now’s the time to try mixing fun flavors into your smoothies (hello, mint banana sundae). You can even get fancy and tell people you’re conducting “culinary experiments.” They’ll never know, unless you tell them.
Step 4: The Return to Normal (And Maybe Some Wisdom)
Losing your “wisdom” teeth isn’t actually removing your “wisdom” but instead giving you an experience to add to it, winky face. As the days pass, your swelling will go down, and you’ll be able to eat normal food again. But take it slow—there’s no rush to bite into anything too hard or chewy. Remember, the goal is to heal up and enjoy the fun stories you’ll tell for years to come.
And while you’re at it, embrace the wisdom (pun intended) you’ve gained. After all, you’ve survived the (possibly) most ridiculous dental adventure of your life(hopefully)! Plus, now you’re one step closer to wisdom—literally. Who knew wisdom teeth removal could be such an enlightening experience? So, keep calm and (literally) smile through it, to your best ability.