A quick life advice session about moving to college and life changes.
Everyone knows that moving to college can be scary and sad, especially when you have long-term friends to say goodbye to and move away from. The fear of leaving behind the people you’ve grown up with, the people who have been by your side through every milestone, every heartbreak, every success—it feels like a huge part of you is being left behind. I remember packing up to leave for college, feeling absolutely terrified and heartbroken about saying goodbye to my friend group of 10 girls. We were inseparable throughout high school, and most of us had been friends since middle school. These are the people who know me better than anyone, and the thought of not seeing them every day, of starting over, was overwhelming. Going into college, I didn’t want to start over.
The fear of loneliness was real, and the thought that my hometown friends would move on and create new circles of their own made my heart ache. I was also incredibly nervous that I wouldn’t find people to make me feel as comfortable as I am with people from home. But now, almost a full school year in, I can honestly say that I’ve found people who make me feel that same warmth, the same sense of belonging. I’ve made new connections that have helped me grow in ways I didn’t expect, and perhaps most surprisingly, I’ve become even closer to some of my old friends. I’ve realized that while things change, there’s room for both the old and the new in your heart. Accepting that my life could evolve, that new friendships could exist alongside the old ones, has been one of the most important lessons I’ve learned so far.
Leaving your hometown and moving to a college town feels like a completely fresh start, and if you don’t feel like you need one, that can be daunting. You have to kind of take your personality and let it defrost just because you meet seriously hundreds of people, so welcome week, you don’t necessarily know who you can trust and feel comfortable with. That is fine, and it is good to meet so many people, but it can be really scary, especially coming from a hometown where everyone knows everyone. There is nothing that can prepare you to kind of start over after spending 18 years creating yourself. So, coming in, I was really scared that I was not going to find my people. I think a lot of that was because I was convinced that I was just gonna compare everyone I met to my hometown friend group. And at the start, I did, which is something that I really regret. That is because I now know how you can have different kinds of friendships, and it is not fair to any party in your life to compare relationships you have with other people. I firmly believe that everyone is in your life for a specific purpose, and that purpose might not be to stay in it forever, but it will have a meaning. Once I started thinking about this and actually accepting it, everything changed. I met an incredible group of people, and at first, I did have a hard time knowing how to feel about it because it was a very different dynamic. But spending more time with them, I slowly started to gain my confidence back and let my personality show. It was crazy how fast we got so close after that. This new dynamic was confusing because we were all just so similar: not necessarily our personalities, but the minor similarities we shared made it so much easier to bond so quickly. Having the same music taste or liking the same shows led to a friendship that was so easy to build quickly. As the first semester went on, we started spending more and more time together, and now these are people who I could not picture my life without. And to think I only met them six months ago, and I’m as comfortable with them as I am with the girls I have known for 6 YEARS is crazy. The only way I can describe that feeling is beautifully terrifying, and I genuinely think that is precisely what it feels like.
So take this as my advice: friendships, relationships, and experiences all come into your life for a reason—whether to teach you something, help you grow, or simply offer you comfort for a time. It’s vital to accept each relationship for what it is at the moment and not compare it to others. Embrace the connections that come your way, understand their purpose and appreciate them without trying to hold onto something that isn’t meant to last. By doing this, you’ll find that you’re able to build deeper, more meaningful relationships while also letting go of the fear of losing what you had. It’s all part of the journey, with each new step, you’ll learn to cherish the people who truly belong in your life. No matter how long they stay. Moving to college, yes, it is really scary, you might feel like you are betraying the people you grew up with, but realistically, this is a part of life to move on from high school. If you are feeling guilty, that is just a sign that you should feel lucky to have something so sweet that makes it hard to say goodbye.