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Tears and Triumphs: The Power of Crying and Choosing You

Kamora Allen Student Contributor, Clark Atlanta University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CAU chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Why has our society normalized emotional numbness? There is no reason for me to conceal my emotions, frantically searching for a secluded corner just to let my tears flow. Have you ever tried to suppress your tears, only to find that with every blink, another one escapes, literally skipping past your cheek? It happens so quickly that it doesn’t even have the chance to leave a trail. I remember a moment in class when something triggered me—despite my best efforts to hold back the tears, my vision blurred. The instant I blinked and glanced down, my paper began to absorb my emotions, the ink smudging with the weight of my unspoken feelings.

I am tired of feeling like I am in the wrong for openly expressing my emotions when someone or something causes me pain. This article aims to explore the nuanced, often complicated relationship women have with their emotions, particularly in a world that has conditioned us to view emotional expression as a flaw. We will challenge these societal norms, advocating for the idea that vulnerability should be embraced—not shamed. It’s time to reframe vulnerability as a profound strength, especially in a society that often seeks to diminish or dismiss women’s emotional responses. Together, we can cultivate a culture that celebrates emotional authenticity and recognizes that our feelings are not just valid; they are powerful and essential to our identity.

Breaking the Stigma

In a society that often equates sensitivity with weakness, women frequently find themselves putting their fist up and fighting the misconception that their emotions undermine their capabilities. This stereotype is so common in the workplace where women pursue leadership roles. Their emotional expression can be labeled as unprofessional or overly dramatic but for men they’re simply “passionate.” For instance, Kamala Harris, the first woman to serve as Vice President of the United States, faced criticism not just for her policies but also for her emotional responses. Many voters dismissed her candidacy based on antiquated notions of femininity, associating her ability to express feelings with a lack of strength. 

This narrative perpetuates the harmful belief that women must suppress their emotions to be taken seriously in professional spaces. Yet, the reality is that sensitivity can foster empathy, connection, and resilience—qualities essential for effective leadership. By unpacking this misconception, we can cultivate a broader understanding of emotional intelligence, encouraging women to embrace their feelings rather than hide them. In doing so, we can begin to shift the conversation around emotion in the workplace and champion a more inclusive definition of strength.

Understanding Emotions: It’s Okay to Feel

Emotions play a fundamental role in the human experience, transcending gender and influencing our thoughts, decisions, and interactions. Psychological research indicates that emotions are not merely fleeting feelings but are essential indicators of our needs, desires, and social connections. According to Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability and courage, embracing our emotions is crucial for building authentic relationships and fostering resilience. She emphasizes that vulnerability—often viewed as a weakness—is actually a source of strength, enabling deeper connections and greater self-awareness.

Moreover, emotional wellness coaches, like Dr. Marc Brackett, founder of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, advocate for the importance of emotional health in personal and professional life. Dr. Brackett highlights that understanding and regulating our emotions can lead to improved decision-making, creativity, and overall well-being. His RULER framework—Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating emotions—aims to equip individuals with the tools to navigate their emotional landscape effectively.

Ultimately, feeling deeply is a vital aspect of the human experience that enriches our lives. Recognizing emotions as a powerful asset, rather than a flaw, can empower women to embrace their sensitivity and cultivate their emotional health as a source of strength.

When It’s Okay to Walk Away

Sometimes, stepping back or removing ourselves from certain situations is not only justified but essential for our well-being. Here are a few scenarios where it can be a healthy response:

Toxic Relationships: In many instances, stepping away from toxic friendships or romantic partnerships allows women to regain their self-worth and mental health. For example, one woman shared her journey of leaving a friendship where constant criticism overshadowed support. After distancing herself, she discovered a newfound sense of confidence and surrounded herself with positive influences.

 Hostile Work Environments: In a workplace filled with negativity or abusive behavior, choosing to leave can be an act of self-preservation. One professional recounted her experience working in a hostile environment, where her contributions were belittled. After resigning, she took time to evaluate her career goals and found a healthier workplace where her skills were valued, ultimately leading to greater job satisfaction and success.

Overwhelming Social Situations: In social settings that feel draining or overwhelming, taking a step back is vital. A woman recalled feeling anxious at large gatherings; after allowing herself to leave when things became too much, she learned the importance of prioritizing her mental health, embracing solitude, and cultivating deeper one-on-one relationships.

By recognizing when to run away—whether from unhealthy dynamics or simply to protect our peace—we can create space for growth and healing, paving the way for a more fulfilling life.

The Healing Power of Tears

Crying has long been a topic of cultural debate, often viewed through the lens of strength and vulnerability. In many societies, tears can be misinterpreted as a sign of weakness, especially among women, who may be pressured to hide their emotions. However, crying can serve as a powerful cathartic release, providing much-needed emotional relief and fostering mental well-being. This release can help individuals process grief, stress, and overwhelming feelings, ultimately leading to clarity and healing.

Influential women have spoken candidly about the importance of embracing vulnerability and allowing tears to flow. For instance, Brené Brown, a noted researcher on vulnerability, states, “Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous. Vulnerability is, in fact, our greatest measure of courage.” Additionally, actress and advocate Emma Watson emphasizes, “It’s okay to be sad, and it’s okay to cry. Crying helps us feel better and allows us to face our struggles with more strength.”

These perspectives highlight that crying is not something to be ashamed of but rather an essential part of the human experience, contributing to personal growth and emotional resilience. By reframing the narrative around tears, we can cultivate a culture that celebrates authenticity and emotional expression.

Redefining Strength

Challenging the traditional narrative of strength, it’s crucial to recognize that true strength often lies in authenticity and the willingness to embrace one’s emotions. Many well-known female leaders exemplify this shift in perspective. For instance, Jacinda Ardern, the former Prime Minister of New Zealand, has been praised for her empathetic leadership style, openly expressing her feelings during times of national crisis, which has fostered a deep connection with her constituents. Similarly, Michelle Obama has spoken about the importance of vulnerability in her journey, stating, “Being vulnerable is our greatest measure of courage.” These leaders demonstrate that strength does not solely reside in stoicism; rather, it flourishes through genuine emotional expression, allowing them to connect more profoundly with others and inspire change through authenticity.

 Practical Tips on Embracing Emotions

Embracing one’s emotional side without fear of judgment can be a transformative journey for women. Here are some practical tips to help foster this emotional openness:

1. Journaling: Set aside time each day to write about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Journaling can provide a safe outlet for expression, helping to clarify emotions and reduce feelings of isolation.

2. Mindfulness: Engage in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep-breathing exercises. These techniques can help cultivate emotional awareness and allow women to sit with their feelings without judgment, promoting a sense of calm and acceptance.

3. Talking to a Friend: Reach out to supportive friends or family members and share your experiences. Having open conversations about emotions can create a sense of community and help destigmatize vulnerability.

4. Creating Safe Spaces: Form or join support groups where emotional expression is encouraged. Whether in-person or online, these spaces allow women to share their experiences and feelings without fear of judgment, fostering connection and understanding.

5. Utilizing Social Media: Engage with social media communities that focus on emotional well-being. Sharing personal stories and insights not only promotes authenticity but can also inspire others to embrace their emotions.

By utilizing these strategies, women can cultivate emotional resilience, create supportive networks, and embrace their authentic selves fully, ultimately leading to greater personal growth and connection with others.

Conclusion: Celebrating Emotional Women

   Embracing Emotions as a Superpower

In conclusion, it’s time to redefine what it means to be strong. Rather than striving for emotional numbness, let’s celebrate the complexities of our emotions as a testament to our resilience and humanity. By embracing our emotional spectrum, we’re not only fostering personal growth but also creating a ripple effect of empowerment that benefits ourselves and those around us.

Mental Health Hub Hero
Rebecca Hoskins / Her Campus Media

You are not fragile, you are a force to be reckoned with.

Your emotions are not weaknesses, but superpowers that can:

  • Inspire empathy and connection with others
  • Fuel creativity and innovation
  • Drive personal growth and self-awareness
  • Empower collective action and social change

So, let’s reframe vulnerability as a badge of honor, not something to be ashamed of. Let’s celebrate the courage it takes to be open, honest, and authentic. Let’s recognize that our emotions are not obstacles to be overcome, but rather the keys to unlocking our full potential.

You are strong, you are capable, and you are worthy of love and respect – exactly as you are.

Born and raised in Los Angeles, I've been shaped by a rich cultural tapestry. As a military child, I've lived in Virginia, North and South Carolina, and Georgia, which fueled my curiosity about different cultures and led me to pursue a political science degree. I believe understanding regional political dynamics is crucial for positively impacting society, and I look forward to studying Southern politics.

I'm actively enlisting in the military, reflecting my commitment to serve my country. My political science education enhances my perspective on governance, enabling meaningful discussions about policy and social change. I chose Atlanta for its historical significance in the Civil Rights Movement and its influential role in national politics. I aim to understand how Southern politics affects our economy and society.

Outside of academics and military pursuits, I love exploring diverse cuisine and experimenting with recipes, as food connects me to different cultures. I also enjoy doing hair as a creative outlet and a way to bond with loved ones. Ultimately, my family is my greatest motivation, keeping me grounded and emphasizing the importance of community.