Dating in this digital day and age has become an obstacle course of swiping left, right, sending a story like, while you are navigating an ever-growing minefield of red flags. Furthermore, dating lingo can be complicated. Wondering why you haven’t heard from that person after the second date or why your daily back-and-forth text chains have suddenly come to a halt aren’t uncommon occurrences. It is the era of ghosting, breadcrumbing and soft launching- one that prioritises ambiguity, convenience and non-commitment. It is not a surprise many of us find ourselves in a downward spiral of emotional override, self-doubt and unhealthy patterns in this era of dating.
Digital flakiness being socially normalized grows a new culture of non-commitment and insincerity that can leave us feeling disoriented, questioning our own worth and chasing validation from the wrong people. In an era where you constantly hear the phrase ‘Why spoil it with labels?’, Noshin Nawal has opinions that contradict that statement well. She talks about the dangers of normalising emotional detachment in intimate structures like romantic relationships. The impression of endless options and seamless connections has made it easier than ever to string people along without genuine intentions, disclose relationships on our own terms, and disappear without justification.
The truth is simple- dating isn’t meant to be never-ending mind games of uncertainty and mixed signals. So, recognising patterns is the first step towards breaking patterns that are unhealthy. The best way to navigate modern dating is to set clear boundaries, put clarity first, and remind yourself that you deserve real effort instead of a short “good morning” text when it suits you. There won’t be any hidden messages, contradicting signals, or disappearing from people who truly want to commit; instead, they will be open and honest about what they want.
ghosting
Our favourite magic trick, which we watched on stage as children, has become many peoples’ favourite act in the gen-z dating pool. Ghosting is a common phenomenon, cyber psychologists explain the act of talking to someone online—you might have even dated them—and then having them suddenly and inexplicably stop responding is known as “ghosting“. But an important thing to remember is that silence says more about them than you; it reflects their own emotional immaturity, communication skills and intentions than it being a reflection of your worth and desirability.
BREADCRUMBING
Breadcrumbing is like the diet version of love, it is the digital version of ‘let’s see where this goes’ with them having no intention of taking the relationship anywhere. If you have experienced one of those ‘kind-of’ talking stages where you have no clarity from the other party but they keep dropping enough crumbs for you to stay interested, you may have been experiencing the breadcrumbing phenomenon. Breadcrumbing is the practice of occasionally sending text messages and likes and displaying some interest but never making a sincere attempt. You never eat a full meal, but it’s emotional snacking anyway.
soft-launching
You’ve probably seen a soft launch if you’ve ever seen a suspicious post on a friend’s account that just said “coffee date,” with a well-groomed hand without a username. A soft launch is the act of gradually revealing your relationship status to your online audience in the context of modern dating. Post enough of your new partner on Instagram stories or social media to give the impression that you are dating, even if you haven’t revealed all the details yet. ‘Soft-launching’ discloses a hesitation, a fear of commitment, or an unwillingness to completely acknowledge a relationship in public spaces. Conversely, individuals who tend to be mysterious or private about their love lives also tend to soft launch.
Decode, Don’t Dwell
Even if modern dating is filled with strange new terms and behaviors, the most essential lesson is to know what works and what doesn’t. If someone is ‘breadcrumbing’ you, don’t pursue them. If you’re being breadcrumbed, don’t take crumbs; you deserve the full thing. The only significant dating guideline? Never let modern lingo define your worth; instead, recognize your worth and set boundaries.