You would think people will start to grow up a little bit more in college … but, so far it seems like the exact opposite! From the love bombing to the gaslighting, it’s hard to not fall into a situationship with someone. I sat down with my friends, and we came up with some great tips if you want to avoid this!
- Lay it all Out!
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I know this is a very cliché saying, but COMMUNICATION IS KEY! It’s very important to ask the questions of “What are we?” or “What exactly are we doing?” Don’t be afraid that having this talk will ruin the vibe. It will save you in the long run!
I suggest doing this after the first meet up because it is the perfect time to see what their intentions are, what the vibe is between the two of you, and if you see it going anywhere. If their answer is straight up about not wanting a relationship and keeping it casual …THEN RUN!! Do not hope for them to change their mind or wait for their potential because most of the time, they’re set on what they want, and you should be too.Do not lower your expectations and standards for someone who told you they don’t want a relationship!
- Are you a secret?
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Now this is more of a hidden thing to look out for. Sometimes, people like to chill in their room or more private spaces, but if it’s all the time … RED FLAG! If you are constantly being asked to meet up in their dorm or apartment, then I think it’s time to start questioning their intentions. If you’re not meeting up outside of the bedroom, don’t know who they hang out with, or are basically never together in public, then you might be a secret!
Most of the time, it’s because they don’t want people to think they’re serious with you so they appear more available. It’s a tricky thing. Sometimes they say they want things to be more private because people can interfere and ruin what you have going with them. However, don’t believe it if you feel that you have to guess if you’re an important person in their life. That line is a tactic to keep you from pushing onto this topic of “What are we?”
- Situationship Hotspot
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Sometimes, we don’t really think about the first meeting with a person, but it’s actually really important! Although it doesn’t mean you won’t meet the love of your life on a dating app, at the bars, or frat parties, you have to be cautious on why exactly they’re there. I can imagine some people going out there just for the fun of it, while others genuinely want to seek out someone to hook up with. Lately, I’ve noticed that frat parties are a situationship hotspot! People at these parties tend to have the mentality that we’re in college, we’re young, and we don’t want anything serious besides hooking up. Therefore, be careful where you meet someone. It can tell you a lot about what they’re looking for!
- Are you on their mind 24/7?
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When someone likes you and wants something with you, I fully believe they will contact you all the time, check up on you, and essentially care about your whereabouts and well-being. If they only hit you up at night, do not be delusional and think you’re the last thing they think about at night! They should be contacting you throughout the day, getting to know you, and making an effort to see you more. If you’re not getting any of that, then the truth is they probably don’t care about you until they want that one thing late at night.
- Delulu is not the solulu
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I touched this topic a little bit in my previous tips, but I want to fully emphasize this statement! No more “let’s do it for the plot because we want to have fun.” Although, there are other things you cannot control, this is the one thing you can: continuing a situationship with someone, or completely cutting it off and going after what you want. If you see the signs … RUN! If you have that bad gut feeling … RUN! If you have to question everything … RUN!!! If you wanna protect your peace, it is up to you! We do not have time to be waiting on someone who is not sure about us, and you should not waste your youth on that energy either! Remember who you are (a great person looking for love), and don’t let anyone make you forget that!
I hope these tips help you figure out your love situation, and make you remember to stand your ground! College should be a fun experience, so don’t let one person stop you from having more fun, and possibly meeting the right one.
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