Flashback to ninth grade, I walked into the building of my high school for the first time, surrounded by people I had yet to meet. With only a familiar face or two, I had no idea who would become a friend or a foe. As a private school kid, college was not the first time I was in an environment of all new people, but high school was. Â
Little 13-year-old Julia began her high school experience at Immaculate High School, an imperfect school with a perfect name. I walked in as a self-conscious, scared girl who thought she knew everything, but she was the one who had everything to learn.Â
My freshman year went by in a flash. I was determined I would go to my dream school, major in physics, get my Ph.D. in astrophysics, and work for NASA, putting rovers on Mars. This was the same year I met Nick, one of my good friends.  Â
My earliest memories of me and Nick were our FaceTime calls. We talked on the phone frequently, and I would always bring up my “life plan.” I remember telling him about mine and how he should make his own. Â
My sophomore year, COVID struck, and I sat at home watching videos of rocket launches and reading books about physics. My life goal had not changed a bit.Â
Junior year, I took AP Physics and Engineering, and by my senior year, it was time for college applications.Â
When Nick applied for college, he struggled with what to choose, and he ignored my (not good) advice and decided to see where life took him. In the end, he decided to go for computer science and has not switched his major since, whereas I did just one semester into college. Â
He allowed life to flow the way it was supposed to for him, which is something I will always admire. My strict adherence to my “life plan” made me look over careers I may have loved. I took my favorite high school class – AP Biology – my senior year, but because I was so convinced I would be a physicist, I am a year behind in my study of biology. Â
I think my greatest joy is not knowing exactly what I want to be or what I want to do. Discovering once again the vast possibilities of life was a blessing. There is not just one thing we can or have to be, and there is not just one thing we can love. One of the most damaging things we can do to ourselves is “knowing what we want to be when we grow up.” Once you decide, you lose the chance to discover. Â
I have narrowed down my choices of graduate school, and I am definitely sticking with my major, but what company will I work for? That is a far-off pursuit that I need not worry about just yet. Â
Nick had his chance to discover his true self, and now I have had mine. I still think physics is fascinating, but I like the concepts much more than the application. I love what I am doing now, and I would not change it for the world.Â
Instead of asking, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” we should be saying, “Think of all you can be when you grow up.”