I don’t understand how men become friends. I’ve never heard a man compliment another’s hair, outfit, or jewelry, and the most meaningful interactions I’ve seen between men are lighthearted at best and mocking at worst. This isn’t a diss on men—I think maybe guys just love each other quietly.
I love my girl friends loudly. Very loudly. I love female friendships, because all you have to do is tell someone you like their nails or their jeans, and suddenly, you’re in each other’s Instagram comments acting as if you’ve known each other forever. There are girls I’ve never met who became my best friends after liking my Instagram Story just once. The girl who takes my order at Starbucks asks to see my nails every time I get them done; I don’t know her name, but I know she makes a killer chai latte. A few weeks ago, I was trying to put decorations on the door and had to ask a floormate for help reaching the top; we now have a shared Spotify playlist and are practically soulmates. This is to say, female friendships, in my experience, are built on a foundation of appreciation for and kindness toward one another.
The strangest part is I never thought I was someone who could make friends easily. I have trouble finding the right words, crowded places stress me out, and I have more fun staying in than going out in public. I was always envious of the girl friend groups that always seemed to be doing fun things together—like, the Alix Earle-type friendships where you get ready to go out together, post digital camera photos crowded around each other, have sleepovers, late-night drives, and cutesy brunches. That seemed like the quintessential girl friend experience, and I thought I was missing out.
But then I think that, when I walk to class, there are girls I wave to who smile and wave back. There are girls I sit beside in lectures and giggle with when we’re not supposed to be giggling. I have all-girl study groups, and we’ve seen each other at our finals-week-worst. And maybe I don’t have sleepovers and brunch with them, but it’s the best thing in the world to love the girls around you, even if you aren’t constantly together. When you build this very basic foundation of appreciation and kindness, you’re ride or die. You know she has your back, and you have hers, and if she needed you, you’d be there, and she’d do the same for you. Those girls are just as much my friends as others who spend every second with their friends, and the best part is that those girls are everywhere. All I had to do was introduce myself.
Having girl friends is the best.
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