During my freshman year of college, there were quite a few times I found myself wondering if Penn State was the right place for me. I kept watching those TikTok’s that commented on sophomore year being so much better, telling myself that would be the case with me.
I had friends, I was a part of clubs, I stayed active, but I never really felt like I belonged here. I always felt like something was missing in my college experience.
My first fall semester, I found myself going out way too much. I didn’t understand balance, and I never had the strength to say no when there was an opportunity.
Spring semester, however, I never went out. Once again, I didn’t understand balance. Most of my nights were spent in the commons doing homework, and the cold weather had me feeling down almost everyday.
I was so excited to move out at the end of the year, and the longing for coming back never really hit me. I was the same emotional mess leaving for sophomore year as I was the first time I ever did it.
Fall semester of sophomore year was another mess. I constantly found myself in my head about simple things, and tried to drown it out with extracurricular activities and internships. Spoiler alert, that didn’t help.
When I headed back to campus after winter break, I told myself I needed to prioritize self-care. This meant making time in my schedule each week to use my favorite eye masks, whiten my teeth and finish all of my shows.
How was I supposed to have a good week if I was consistently missing out on the newest episode of “Survivor”? Those are way too hard to binge watch.
Now, college is never easy. Even when I’m at the peak of happiness, I definitely have a lot of troubles. But the thing is, I now feel like I belong.
Long nightly talks in the living room with my roommates are some of my favorite moments. I finally learned a balance with going out, and prioritize fun little journey’s with my friends during the week rather than partying all of the time.
As an editor and a writing tutor, I feel like I found my purpose. While everything I do on campus certainly is the reason for most of my stress, it helps me to know I can help others with my time.
Freshman year me didn’t know what she wanted to do in life. She picked the wrong major, surrounded herself with the wrong people and spent way too much time procrastinating those simple homework assignments.
Picking a different major and surrounding myself with people in my clubs has helped me fit in so much more. While I always found myself homesick freshman year, a part of me now finds Penn State to be my second home.
For anyone struggling in their first year in college, don’t feel bad about it. Allow yourself to feel those feelings and slightly change up your routine in a positive way.
Surround yourself with people that make you happy. If anyone is draining your energy, don’t change for them. You’re too amazing to let anyone change your vibe.
Lastly, always make sure to put yourself out there. Make friends with the people around you, and don’t be scared to use your voice even when it feels awkward to.
Even though it might take awhile, the perfect college experience is waiting somewhere out there for you. Freshman year is not the end of the world, rather a stepping stone to realizing your true potential.