Hey You!
Yes, you. I am so proud of you. So proud of you for pursuing your dreams — no matter how big or small. I am proud of you for all your efforts both in and out of the workplace. Whether your efforts are going towards innovating new technology, teaching, gaining an education, starting a family, merely surviving or all of the above — you are incredibly amazing.
Often in today’s world, there is too much pressure put on women to be outstanding in all areas of life all at once. Women are totally capable of this, of course, but these expectations can be chronically draining. It is important to celebrate major successes for women but to also not lose sight of the many daily challenges we overcome that are equally as important.
As a woman, I often find myself constantly wanting to be the very best in all areas of my life. I strive to be the perfect student, the perfect coworker, the perfect friend, the perfect sister and the list goes on. Am I capable of being all of those things at once? Absolutely! But is it necessarily healthy for me to drain myself to constantly fulfill all of these roles? No. The chronic overworking of women stems from the past. Women in the 20th century had to be incredibly innovative and successful to even be seen as human, let alone as successful. Yes, women can be incredible rocket scientists and inspiring journalists but I am here to remind you that your self-worth should not be based on your achievements alone. Sometimes the battle is fought and won within small repetitive actions that often are not even recognized as work.
As a chronic overachiever, it has taken a lot of work and intentionality to create a life that makes me feel proud and content without selling my soul to fit society’s perception of success. Firstly, it is important to create space in your life where you can independently flourish. This can look different for everyone, and for me this space looks different every day. Sometimes in order to flourish I need to clean my space and make it feel organized, other days creating space for myself to flourish looks like spending time doing a solo hobby like journaling, going on walks or baking. There is no right or wrong way to create space in your life for yourself to thrive, but I encourage you to find activities that you can complete independently that allow you to reset and feel at peace.
Secondly, it is important to celebrate all successes, big and small, so you do not lose track of how far you have come. We do not have to wait for a life-altering moment to take time to celebrate your achievements. Yes, getting a new job or graduating are big achievements that deserve a celebration but there is so much more in life that is worthy of celebrating. Do not forget about smaller things such as nourishing new friendships and the success of keeping up with daily tasks such as schoolwork, laundry, etc.
Keeping your life in order takes effort and that effort should not be overlooked when recalling your achievements. While on the topic of achievements, I find that it is important to set a wide variety of goals for myself. I try to set one or two long-term goals to actively work towards over a few years such as achieving my college degree! Additionally, I find it important to set a wide variety of smaller-scale goals. That can look different for everyone. These goals can be something like attending all classes in a term, aiming to journal every day, maintaining friendships, or learning how to cook or bake something new. When these goals are achieved, they help me to recognize my personal successes and help me to maintain a positive outlook on life. This is a great way to feel productive and makes it easier to take pride in the work you do.
Now as perfect as that all sounds, life often throws us for a loop when we least expect it. When things get difficult, it is important to remember that a bad day, week, or even season does not mean you have a bad life. Life is a multidimensional experience and it is important to continuously seek out the good no matter how hard it seems.
It will not always be easy, but I guarantee there is always something good to appreciate. Do not get caught up in the “do it all” mentality. You do not have to be extraordinary at everything all the time. What you are currently doing and achieving is awesome and woman to woman I am so proud of you.
Life looks differently for everyone and so does success. Focus on yourself and your small victories and you will begin to appreciate your life for what it is. What you are is enough and who you are is extraordinary. Do not lose sight of that.
Sincerely,
A girl trying to figure it all out