If you are anything like me, you may feel differently around this time of the year. The weather is miserable, jackets are too heavy, bags are falling off shoulders, schoolwork starts to pile up slowly and the urge to stay wrapped in bed strengthens. This is when New Year’s resolutions fall apart and are usually replaced by self-loathing or guilt. But here’s the truth: you are not alone in feeling that way. That feeling of self-deprecation follows everyone; it can appear different for each person, but we all experience it. The hardest part about it is trying to overcome that feeling. While I’m not a professional, I’ll share some easy ways to practice self-compassion during these times and hopefully ease some minds :)
One: Understanding That It’s Okay Not to Get Everything Done.
Listen, I’m not very good at doing this. There are five hundred things I have to do in a day, and I never have enough time to do them all. I can rarely get everything done in the day between school, friends, family, the gym, work and much more. Any time I miss a step I’ve planned out during the day, I can’t help but feel defeated and like I haven’t done enough. When the truth is, I’ve done more than enough. The fact is, sometimes, the day will never have enough time for you to do every single thing you want. Sure, some days, it’ll work out and be perfect, but the fact of the matter is, that’s not how it’ll always work, which is more than okay. Be proud of what you manage to get done in a day.
Two: Surround Yourself with Positive People.
The people you surround yourself with will always have a crucial impact on your mindset. People who motivate, encourage, respect and understand you will have a far more positive effect on your mental health than anyone who doesn’t. While self-compassion primarily comes from inside you, the people around you will help you build that mindset. You’ll project that mindset if your friends, family, and relationships are positive and happy. Don’t save time and energy for those who don’t deserve it.
Three: Make Time for Yourself.
Making time for yourself is essential for self-care. It’s crucial to read a book you like, drink some tea, paint, do a puzzle, do skincare or do anything that gives you peace. I know it can be challenging, and I often struggle with doing things for myself. But even the tiniest thing can make a difference. Even journaling helps with that. Anything clouding my mind can get off my mind freely whenever I journal. It’s a healthy habit that I try to do at least two to three times a week. However, the tasks you prioritize for yourself can change depending on what you like to do and what brings you peace! So, find whatever this is, and try to prioritize that time for yourself.
Four: Celebrate!
Lately, there’s been a stigma around only celebrating tremendous accomplishments. However, that’s a limited way of thinking. You need to celebrate the tiny things in life as well. Otherwise, life will constantly feel draining and like you’re working towards something without rewards. The reality is that accomplishments and rewards are always all around us.
Celebrating the little things often makes us feel motivated, happier and more successful.
Five: Be Understanding with Yourself.
Nobody is perfect, everyone you’ve met has made mistakes in their life. Even the people who you idolize. It’s human nature to mess up, whether by hurting someone, getting a bad grade, having a cheat day or anything you can think of. We must learn to embrace more of our mistakes throughout life. All we can do as humans is learn from our mistakes and have grace towards ourselves when we aren’t perfect because the truth is perfection doesn’t exist, and that’s okay.
Six: Setting Healthy Boundaries.
The hardest thing I learned throughout 2024 was the act of setting boundaries. Whether it’s in relationships, with myself, school, work or anything else. Boundaries are an essential practice of self-care and respect. Boundaries allow us to understand what works for us and what doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to accept those boundaries and to make the people around you aware when they cross them. It’s not selfish. You ultimately have to put yourself before anyone else.
Seven: Develop Healthy Habits.
Developing healthier habits isn’t only good for your mind but also your body. These habits allow us to feel more comfortable within our skin and feel better in general. Eating cleaner, working out, trying to set a better sleep schedule and even reading self-help books can all aid in better habits. However, while setting healthy habits for ourselves, we must be compassionate towards minor slip-ups. It takes a while to make a perfect routine, and even within that routine, slip-ups can happen. It’s okay to make mistakes, miss a workout or eat a sweet treat. Life is about enjoying whatever you can, so be easy on yourself.