Around this time two years ago, I was deep into my college search, contemplating what to write my essay on. Unlike some people, I didn’t have any ‘reach’ schools, I was just simply trying to find a place where I felt comfortable. One morning I woke up and realized that I was thinking about it wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, SBU has always done an amazing job at making me feel welcome, but it will never bring me a true sense of comfort. Comfort isn’t the warm feeling that I get while waving to my friend on the way to class in the morning or the peace I feel while falling asleep in my dorm at night. The only true way in which I have been able to find comfort is through myself.
This is why I chose to write my college essay about what comfort is to me. Now that I look back, I realize I wrote this essay more so as a reminder that no matter what, I would be okay, because I can find comfort from within. I never expected to be looking back and reflecting on my college application essay two weeks into my sophomore year of college, but here I am.
While writing that essay I remember reflecting on my life up until that point and questioning where I have been able to find comfort. I began writing about how important routine is to me and how being a creature of habit is the only thing that keeps me sane. This may be true, but deep down, the only constant source of comfort was my ability to accept that I would be put in uncomfortable situations.
At that point in my life, preparing for the next step was the ultimate source of discomfort. The pit in my stomach grew as I copied and pasted my final draft of my college application into the Common App. Not once did I worry about getting into college. The one and only thought that consumed my mind was that I was going to have to cultivate comfort within myself.
I feel like a totally different person compared to who I was when I wrote that 650-word essay in the fall of my senior year of high school. Getting to this point hasn’t been easy. I’ve searched for comfort in friends and relationships, but I always seem to come up short.
Then I wake up in the morning and realize that I’m still not thinking about it right. No matter how much I stick to a routine or cling to attention from others, I will never truly feel comfortable. I simply must remind myself that comfort comes from within, and suddenly, I am ready to face anything the world throws at me.