We all have those habits, those routines and those rules we set for ourselves to ensure we’re surrounded by the people who positively impact us or so we live the life we feel happy in. If you don’t, then you need to be setting these boundaries. Personally, I’ve struggled for years to maintain promises to myself in order to ensure I’m living life the way I want to live and letting go of my people-pleasing ideologies. Because of this, I’ve found myself setting non-negotiable rules in my life that everyone close to me is aware I do and that makes me feel my best. In order to discover what these non-negotiables are for yourself, you have to reflect and think about what things you must do in life in order to have the energy and mindset to do your best in everyday life. Self-awareness is key, and before you go making your own boundaries, you must understand your innate self and what you truly need.
Eight Hours of Sleep
Everyone who knows me knows that when it comes to sleep, I don’t play around. I know myself, and if I reduce my sleep to less than eight hours, I will feel sluggish all day and not perform my best. Trial and error has taught me that this is a boundary I must set for myself. Even if my friends are out or wanting to watch a movie late at night, if I have to be up the next morning, I know sleep is a priority to set myself up for a good day. Whether this means going to bed at 10pm, or sleeping an extra hour in the morning, sleep is something that is non-negotiable to me, and I respect my body enough to give it the rest it needs.
Work-Life Balance
In the past, I’ve defined myself as a workaholic and taken pride in the fact that I was constantly on the go, working or studying and cancelling plans in order to do so. As I got more and more burnt out, I strayed away from this mindset and prioritized the relationships in my life over work. When I realized my grades and work had been slipping, I found a perfect balance that allowed me to work hard during the week and relax on the weekends. I’ll never again live without a proper work-life balance because, for my stress levels and overall mental health, allowing time for friends, activities and hobbies has become so important. I noticed my skin clearing up, my headspace fresher and my moods steadier when I allowed myself this balance. It’s more important than you think and working yourself to death is never worth it without balance.
Financial Stability
I’m lucky enough to have the means to put myself through university, move out of the house I grew up in and still have money to purchase things I want. This didn’t come easy, and I had to work away in high school in order to save up for the lifestyle I currently have. Growing up, I learned the value of money very early on and was always smart about saving it and prioritizing certain things. This remained with me as I grew into adulthood, as I’m financially independent and work in order to fund my schooling and living situation. Setting a monthly budget and sticking to it has always been something I feel to be important, so I know that in case of an emergency, I have fallback money and can ensure I have the funding to complete my university career. Writing out my fixed expenses before the beginning of every month, followed by planning out what money I have leftover to spend, is something I must do in order to remain financially stable and responsible with my income.
Daily Movement
I was never an active kid growing up and envied my peers who were enrolled in sports in middle school. As I grew up and gained my own income, I realized it was now up to me to support my overall health and well-being. Just over a year and a half ago, I got myself a gym membership and taught myself everything there is to know about weightlifting. I fell in love with the feeling of getting stronger and haven’t stopped since. A non-negotiable to me in general is my health, a focus that I support through my daily movement, drinking enough water, taking my vitamins and consuming enough protein to support muscle growth. On rest days, I get my 10,000 steps in and, even on the days I feel tired, I move my body in the way that feels best to ensure consistency. This discipline takes time and effort, but your body and future self will thank you for it.
Non-negotiables are simply a starting point and can change as your goals and life changes with it. Knowing yourself well enough to know what you need to feel good and reach all the goals in your life is the first step to creating these non-negotiables; the second step is putting them into action. It takes a lot of discipline to do this, but once you’re consistent with knowing what you want and what you need, it’ll become second nature to you and you’ll feel so much better knowing you can keep the promises you make for yourself. In the end, the self-respect will help you create a better relationship with yourself.