My love overflows.Ā
There is no containing the beads of emotions determined to one day seep through my skin.
Iām sat here in the darknessĀ
Sterile walls and busy mind of pillowfill.Ā
Pillowfill my mind of happier times when the room didnāt feel so cold, so silent.
I long for warming that no amount of blankets will satisfy.Ā I wish that the space wasnāt so wide a gap between the white wall and my body
Always I would pillowfill the innermost corner, Shielding my eyes from any light, from the world and all its noise.Ā Pretending it doesnāt exist.
Like Iām pretending now.
Pretending that I feel secureĀ
That galaxies projected on my wall were real stars I could wish on. Rather than a remote controlled color show
Too perfect, the settings just rightĀ
Pillowfill my space with cozy but never comfortĀ
Because itās not the same
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā I donāt think it ever will be.Ā
Pillowfill and refill my hope.