Love is weird. There, I said it. In our lives, we’ll always find that one person that means the world to us. Whether it’s a best friend, a romantic partner or, unless we’re extremely unlucky in this time of heartbreak, we’ll find both.
I think the reason why love is such a confusing and mind-warping ideology is that feelings are hard to understand. Since we were little kids, we tried to define our emotions with human words. For example, we might have said we were tired when we meant hungry, but we are tired because we are hungry. Emotions are complex, and words do no justice in the explanations of feelings of the heart.
THE BREAKUP
How do you explain the extent of emotions when saying that you miss someone, but they aren’t someone you can call right now? The person you knew in the past but whose lingering presence still fills the rooms where you made your best memories? Even though in the physical world the room looks cold and bare, your heart still wants to create these bubbly images of light as if the person you once knew is standing right there. And sure, these words I so eloquently share can paint an image, but you still cannot feel what I feel. You don’t know the longing to make everything real or to go back and rewind events to make everything okay. There are so many times when you might think that maybe everything would have just fixed itself if you’d stayed.
But you didn’t. Please remember why you didn’t. And please remember it is okay to not want to be broken.
MENDING THE HEART
Broken hearts are like an explosion of fiberglass coursing through one’s veins. They take up every crevice, piercing the skin from the inside. It’s hard to fix something not even the doctor can see. Coming to terms with reality was the worst part. After taking off those rose-colored glasses and seeing them in the sunlight, the world starts to look so dull. It’s as if the person you had loved for so long no longer encompasses that body: the soul you connected with is gone.
I lied, coming to terms with reality is not the worst part. The worst part is coming to terms with the fact that you will never get that soul back. Even after the breakup, you will try to see if your beloved soul will return. Even if you knew the soul would only stay for a moment, you would wait. For how could a soul that was so perfect for you simply go away? I don’t have an answer for you. The comment “people change” never quite provided the comforting relief it implied.
THE RESOLUTION
Honestly, I do apologize. I don’t have the answer for when it gets better, or even if it does. But I just know that someday you will wake up and your heart won’t ache as much. As you learn to take all that love you put into someone else and transfer it to yourself, you will feel better. Maybe it will work out again or maybe it was good as gone. Either way, nothing is wasted time. Remember the good memories, embrace them and learn from the not-so-good. But with whatever you choose to do, remember there is a time and a season for all. So, if you choose to be sad today, find a reason to smile tomorrow.
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