In high school, I told my friends I had frequent doctor appointments. One week it was the dentist, the next physical therapy or a checkup with the pediatrician. I alternated off a long list of made-up appointments to hide the doctor I was actually visiting each week: my therapist.
For a long time, I refused to share that I talked to a therapist. I felt angry and defeated that I even needed to talk to someone. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I fix this problem on my own? The fact that I needed treatment for something I couldn’t see or quantify didn’t seem justified to me. There was no broken bone, no spiked temperature or toothache to warrant medical care.
When we injure ourselves, the automatic response is to go to the doctors. However, when we face issues of mental health, they become issues of willpower, rather than serious, potentially life-threatening diseases.
Why is it socially acceptable—encouraged, even—to see a doctor when we are physically injured, but not when we are mentally suffering? Why is physical health prioritized over mental health?
I asked myself these questions as I struggled to come to terms with the fact that I might need therapy. At the time, I had severe anxiety and depression, yet despite the crippling effects, therapy’s negative stigma made me hesitate to invest time and money into treatment. I wasted years avoiding therapy, silently enduring the effects of my anxiety and depression—all of which could have been overcome by therapy earlier on in my life.
Today, I talk very openly about my decision to see a therapist. However, opening up about the state of our mental health and treatment options is not easy. Oftentimes, struggling with mental health issues is negatively associated with weakness—something to be ashamed of. But let me ask you: since when is taking care of our bodies, both mind and body, something to be ashamed of?
The answer is that it’s not. There’s nothing innately shameful about taking care of ourselves: not only physically, but also mentally. I’m not ashamed to tell you I see a therapist. I’m not weak or “crazy” for seeking out therapy. I’m self-aware of what is best for me. And while it took me years to come to this realization, I refuse to let the stigma of mental health and therapy prevent me from caring for myself.