1. The Cat Lover
“Meow…meoooow. Meow! Meeeeow,” he continued for about a minute…no one cared.
2. The Person who’s Night was Just Ruined
“I’m not going to be able to hook up with anyone, because you spilled on me everywhere.”
3. Someone who is Overly Enthusiastic with School Spirit
“The academics are sublime.” Quality advice for a prospie
4. The Liar
“I’m actually sober. I never drink.”
5. The Compulsive Eater
“Oooh, a chocolate eyeball! Does anyone care if I eat this? I’m totally going to eat this.”
6. The Transportation Expert
“Bacchus is not a truck. It’s a van. Know your vehicles.”
7. The Tired Partier
“How much does it cost to take a nap in here?”
8. The Animal Hater
“I hate unicorns. They’re the worst. I need to get out of here.”
9. The Future Doctor
“I think I broke my knuckle…”
10. The Taylor Swift Fan
“I should not have sang Taylor Swift so loud. I think I lost my voice,” his friend then offered to help him find it.
11. Safety First
“Hold this. I gotta tie my shoe. I’m freaking out.”
12. The South Park Fan
“Are you fat, Kyle?”
13. The Optimist
“Maybe we should stay in here in case they want to make out later.”