In my very first year at Kenyon, one of my favorite seniors wandered into my office during the spring semester. We started talking, and she started crying. It was April, and she had no idea what she was doing after graduation. This is a hard place to be, and these are hard feelings to feel—especially when you’ve spent your whole life going from class to class, activity to activity, school to school. And now all of a sudden, the bottom seems to be falling out, and you’re expected to know what it means to be an adult—with a job, an income, a place to live, and everything else in between.
The reality is—and it really is—that you don’t need to know it all. But you do have to be humble about not knowing it all. And that may be the hardest part. Dropping that ego and getting that humility. STAT. Life isn’t necessarily going to drop a job into your lap, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find and get one. It just means you have to work harder. It just means that job may not be perfect. It just means you have to figure out what you need, what you want, and what you’re willing to set aside (at least for now). And all of that is—or may have to be—OK.
It’s even more challenging when others around you seem to have figured it all out. Naturally, that just makes you feel worse—that they appear to have everything together and that you don’t. Remember that appearances don’t mean everything—they could easily have struggled or be struggling. More importantly, their accomplishments don’t need to be the source of your misery. Their successes could easily (or perhaps with some serious self-talk) be your inspiration. If the world has to revolve around you (see paragraph above), make sure you use it for all the good it can do you.
Your first job doesn’t need to be your everything, but it should be something you enjoy doing.
Why? Because a full-time job will soak up at least seven to eight of your waking hours. So take some time to find an employer that you believe in and that believes in you. Because if you don’t have at least that, you’ll be seriously roughing it. And you’ll be miserable. And you’ll quit. And you’ll wish you hadn’t suffered in the first place. And you’ll keep cycling through that whole process over and over. Believe me. Nothing is worth Groundhog Day.
When you think about something you enjoy doing, try not to judge yourself too harshly—or let anyone else’s judgments diminish what you want to do.
Remember that these will be your days and your hours. Whether you want to work in an office, play with kids, do food service, or clean stables, you’ll be the one toiling or thriving. Take heed of any advice you receive—people who know you well will surely have their opinions. However, what will matter most is what you get out of that first job, from building knowledge and skills, to knowing what aspects of your work life keep you focused, engaged, and happy.
Consider who’ll be around you.
Did I mention you’ll be working seven to eight hours? A bad job with a great manager and great colleagues can be far better than a good job with a horrible manager and horrible colleagues. Because the people who work for your employer reflect your employer’s beliefs and values in recruitment, hiring, and retention, consider the daily company you’ll keep and whether they’ll add positive value to your work life.
Don’t forget to think ahead.
Every job is a first step to the next one. As you build your resume (and I certainly hope you have one already—otherwise get your butt to the Career Development Office!), think about what you’d like to say you’ve done, learned, and contributed with every job. Whether a job is a short- or long-term one, you should be regularly reflecting on knowledge and skills gained and updating your resume accordingly. Don’t wait until you’re applying for your next job before you document everything you’ve done.
Money matters.
Both in terms of your salary and your savings. Concerning your salary, money isn’t everything, but it should at least be reasonable. Are they paying you what the job is worth? Are they paying you what you’re worth? Are they paying you enough to live how you want to live? Do you really need to live that way (right now)? All of these questions need answers—so find them. Consult reliable sources (think about what that means!) and get good advice. Do the cost-benefit analysis—a.k.a “am I willing to share a closet with three people so I can take this job?”
If living at home is an option (or *the* option), it can be a good thing…
…especially to build up your nest egg while you’re getting established. But make sure you won’t kill your parents in the process—or vice versa. Any attempt that you make to save your pennies is a good idea. It’ll seem weird in the beginning, but getting your finances in order and beginning to save early will set you up well for whatever you want to spend on in the future. Whether it’s a European cruise, a new car, your own home, or even a college fund for your kids (*gasp*)!
Make sure your first job isn’t your whole life.
Working should be part of living—not all of it. Make time for your family and your friends. It’ll be that much harder to stay connected once everyone is spread out all over the world, so be intentional about communicating with those you love. Make time for yourself as well—to be independent, to do things alone, to think and reflect. If anything, having some time to breathe will help you figure out how you feel about your life—what’s good, what’s bad, and what you need and want to do next.
Be in the moment—but also not.
Remember that every experience is simultaneously discrete yet connected to everything before and after it. As you live your life, your choices will lead to more choices which will lead to more choices. Know that you always have options, provided that you let yourself find and see them. For now, focus on what you want this first job to look like. After that, evaluate and decide as opportunities arise. Stay flexible and know that every experience is a lesson. Just make sure to keep track of those lessons.
You might be stressed right now, Seniors, but trust that everything will work out. Good luck out there!
Image Credit: Pexels, Hoi Ning Ngai