As the semester begins to wind to a close, and I try my best to contend with the small mountain of schoolwork I still have to complete before I can move home in a couple weeks, I have taken to daydreaming about summer on a pretty regular basis. I always get like this towards the end of the school year. The weather’s nice, and I have so many things I want to do, but I can’t do any of them because I have papers to write and tests to take. So, instead, I just momentarily look up from whatever textbook I have open in front of me and think about how, once it’s summer, I will have so much free time. I’ll finally be able to accomplish all of the things that my busy college schedule has prevented me from accomplishing.
I keep doing this, and yet I am perfectly aware that this is a complete and utter fantasy. I have the unfortunate personality trait coupling of loving to plan things but also being incredibly lazy when it comes to actually doing the things. Every year, I have a bunch of things that I want to get done during the summer, but it would take a miracle and all my stores of self-discipline for me to actually finish them. Still, it doesn’t hurt to have a little hope that this might be the summer where I finally get off my butt and do some stuff. Without further ado, here are the things I hope to accomplish this summer (and what I will probably actually do instead):
1. Read Many, Many Books
I love to read, but you wouldn’t know that from the amount of books that I actually get around to reading. I just don’t have time to read for fun during the semester, or if I do have time I don’t want to read, because so much of my schoolwork already involves reading. That means that every time I want to read a book, I file it away in my brain as something I’m going to read this summer. As a result of this, I have an unreasonably large amount of books I’m hoping to read over summer break. I don’t have an exact number, but it’s at least a few dozen. It is possible that I could read them all, if I budget my time right and stay focused. Honestly, I’m just hoping to read enough that my Goodreads app will stop telling me that I’m behind on my yearly reading challenge. Stop making me feel inadequate, Goodreads.What I Will Probably Do Instead:
Netflix is the biggest competition on this one. I will probably read a bunch of books no matter what, but if I get involved in, for example, re-watching Jane the Virgin, the likelihood that I will get to all of the books I want to goes way down, and my Goodreads app will continue to shame me.
2. Get a job
I am determined to not sit at home this entire summer, talking to my dog like he’s a person and going slowly insane (I say this from experience). I want to get a job, although I don’t know what or where. Potential employers, if you’re reading this, please hire me. I don’t have a lot of experience, but I did write this article, which shows that I am great at creating rambling, semi-structured lists, a skill that I am sure you will come to value.
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
I’m still holding out hope on this one, because like I said, I’m pretty determined. However, as I keep putting off searching for a job in favor of doing homework, I might have a little more trouble than I would like actually getting one when the time comes.
3. Start Exercising
No more getting winded from walking up the stairs! Hopefully. I always try to start exercising, but it never really goes to plan; for example, one morning last summer I ran around my backyard a few times, threw up, and then layed on my bed for the rest of the day, and that was the end of that. Maybe this will be the year that I finally find the motivation to get out there and get those endorphins going!
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
Instead of exercising and then laying on my bed, there is a strong possibility that I will lay on my bed, and then just continue to lay on my bed, forever, indefinitely.
4. Finish Gilmore Girls
This one probably doesn’t seem very important, but it haunts me. I have some friends who really love Gilmore Girls, so over a year ago I decided to start watching it so I could understand what they were talking about. I really liked the show, but for some reason I just can’t finish it. I made it all the way to Season 7 and then completely lost my motivation. “It’s just a TV show, Julia,” I tell myself. “It doesn’t matter at all. You shouldn’t feel bad about something like that. Just go watch Jane the Virgin again.” But still, every time I turn on Netflix and see Lorelai Gilmore’s face smiling up at me from under the Continue Watching section, I feel like a Netflix failure, which, while it is much better than being a real life failure, still has its own distinctive sting.
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
Not watch Gilmore Girls, and probably watch about 57 other shows instead.
5. Write more
At first this one was “Write a novel,” but I couldn’t type that without laughing bitterly at my foolish dreams, so I have changed it to the more general ‘Write more.’ I like to write, and I want to get better at it, so of course the best way to do that is to practice. I hope to devote some time every week to sit down at my computer and write stuff.
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
Sit down at my computer, open up Word, stare at Word, close Word, open up Chrome, go to Pinterest, waste 263 hours looking at puppies and inspirational quotes.
6. Finish a puzzle
Over winter break, I started a jigsaw on my dining room table. I got about a third of the way done with it before I had to come back to school. Luckily my family doesn’t use that table much, so it hasn’t been getting in their way, but I want to finish it once and for all. Also, apparently, every once in awhile my cat knocks some pieces onto the floor and the roomba sucks them up, meaning that my mom has to pick them out of the trash when she empties out the roomba.
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
I will neglect to do the puzzle, and eventually my mom will (rightfully) grow weary of picking the pieces out of the trash, and the puzzle will gradually disappear to the landfill, helped along by the three-part team of the cat, the roomba, and my mom.
7. Get on a better sleep schedule
Lately I’ve been staying up later and sleeping later, which has been rough on the mornings when I actually have to get up early. Maybe this summer I will learn to go to bed at a reasonable time and wake up while it’s still morning.
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
My sleep schedule will become so distorted by staying up later and later that I will become a fully nocturnal animal. I will never again be awake during the day, so I will never see my family again. My only companion will be the cat. I will weep, dreaming of the sun.
8. Host many fabulous pool parties
My high school friends will know that every year I promise to invite them over to swim in my pool several times before the summer ends, but it usually only ends up happening once or twice, due to schedule conflicts, weather, or me forgetting. This year I will not leave my friends to wither and dry up in the hot summer sun; I will invite them over to swim, and we will make fun, lifelong memories.
What I Will Probably Do Instead:
I will forget to invite my friends over, instead getting distracted by videos of baby hippos. My friends will decide that I am unreliable and band together to get their own pool, to which I will not be invited. I will sit in my pool and cry, my tears eventually causing the pool to overflow and costing my family hundreds of dollars in damage. Twenty years from now I will see them all in Target and they will not recognize me.
That’s it for the list of my summer plans, a.k.a. what I want to happen and what totally might probably happen. Let’s all cross our fingers that some of these hypotheticals don’t come to pass. And whoever you are, reading this, I hope that you have a wonderful summer and are able to achieve everything that you would like to!