Throughout the past month I have been paying close attention to people’s conversations. Not in the creepy, give me all your life details way, but in the “wow, you had that happen to you too?” way. When it comes to dating in college many of us will spend three to four years chasing some guy/guys who have walked into our lives unexpectedly. His mysterious persona and laid back way of contacting you, will keep you on the edge of your seat; hoping one day you will hear him mutter: “lets be exclusive.” You’ve probably kept him around for more than entertainment purposes, and at this point you have cried, complained, and contemplated telling him how you really feel. But is anyone person really worth wanting to pull your well tamed locks out for? The question I pose to all of us collegiettes: why? Why is there that one guy for all of us that gets under our skin and at any point of a conversation, when we hear their name, we stop and (cringe/our heart beats/our memory goes over and over the past details).
“Mr. Big:” the one that keeps coming back. We all know him. We may have casually dated him, spent a summer texting him, and even slept with him. I recently read the BetchesLoveThis satire on him called, “The One Who Won’t Go Away,” and I instantly shared it with my closest confidants. They gawked in astonishment and some even pointed at the screen and said, “That’s him.” Without even the mention of his name, I knew whom they were talking about. The reality of the article is that we have all been there. It may be hard to admit to yourself that you have been “that girl” who takes a guy back who has hurt you, but everyone is she at some point in her young adult life.
I started writing this article as a form of revenge, but then I realized why should I only blame the guy who did this to (myself/my friends/these random girls), when we have allowed it to continue time and time again. It amazes me as intelligent, driven, and established young women, we are drawn to well, to put it simply, jerks. I have yet to figure out if it is a power struggle-do we enjoy the challenge? Or is it simply a way to be distracted from our hectic lives and tell ourselves that he will come around eventually and commit? Either way, none of us like to get hurt; none of us like to throw our phones on the ground in anger because he didn’t text last Saturday. So why do we put up with it? And more importantly, why do we go back? There are no benefits in wasting our time on someone who frankly, probably doesn’t waste time on you. It’s time to move on. My point: he’s a little fish in a big pond. There are guys out there who want to be with us, if we are willing to give them the chance. It doesn’t happen automatically, and I’m not here to judge-I’ve relapsed myself from time to time. I am no Carrie Bradshaw, though, I have been through enough of these situations and heard enough stories for a lifetime. Also, I’ve come to the realization that my Mr. Big’s time is up.
Summer is just around the corner. I urge you to delete his number or ignore his next casual, “what’s up” text. What’s up? I’m taking back the past (insert your number here) years of my life, that’s what is happening. Any guy should be lucky to have you in his life at all times. Don’t play his game. Get out there and be you. It’s not going to be an easy task; knowing willingly he is just one response away. I promise one day though, you will look back and feel a sense of relief and closure. In the meantime, remember one thing-you’re worth it, and he is not.