Having had experience with many frustrating and unfulfilling relationships—I started to wonder how is it possible to determine if who you’re with is a good fit for you? Between school, work, and everything in the middle—we have a tendency to settle, you know what I mean ladies! This is why there are five things every girl should consider, busy or not, before they make the next jump in their relationship or choose to call it quits.
Do you have common interests? This goes without saying. In the past, I would fall so head over heels in love with the guy I was with that I would ignore the biggest question out there—do we like or appreciate the same things? If you have little in common with your guy, chances are it won’t go too far. Yes, I understand that opposites attract, however, you can’t be too opposite or you’ll end up in tiff after tiff. A balance should be the goal and a willingness to understand and attempt to appreciate each other’s interests—and if that isn’t there, you’re doomed to fail girlfriend. Trust me. I’ve been there.
Can you laugh together? Having fun is crucial. And I don’t mean the type of fun you have with your friends. I’m talking about the private fun, the inside-jokes, and the things only the two of you can understand. It’s important to have your own language which is protected by the two of you. My boyfriend and I laugh all the time and it’s because we share a similar sense of humorl he puts my stomach in knots when he tells jokes. Who doesn’t like to giggle every now and then—especially with the person you love.
Is there trust? This is the biggest one in the book for me. No relationship can exist without trust (as everyone always says). But it’s true! You have to know in your heart of hearts that when you aren’t together, you both are acting as if you are. Meaning—no passing out your number anymore ladies and gents! There shouldn’t be any gray areas—the conditions should be set in stone and respect should be fully intact. And if you really care about one another you will be acting accordingly. Because once the trust is gone, there is no getting it back.
Are you accepting of one another? Why would you want to change a person if you fell for their original version? I understand that compromising is inevitable in a strong relationship—but there is a difference between coming to an agreement and demanding the other person budges. If you are going to pursue a relationship with someone be mindful of the fact that they are who they are, and they deserve to be however they choose to be. If you don’t like it—don’t waste their time. Would you want someone to come into your home and start rearranging things? Leave them be.
Can you live with their quirks? This is something my boyfriend explained to me long before we started dating and that is, relationships are not about living with what you like but being able to tolerate and look past what you don’t. Everyone is weird in their own way and do things that define them. And to some, those things can be irritating. However, the ability to tolerate what may be annoying is an indicator of true love. There are many things that my boyfriend does that drive me nuts—but I deal with it because I love everything about him and wouldn’t change him for the world. You want to be able to look that person dead in the eyes, say “I love you,” and mean it. Mind, body and soul.