I am the very vision of a college woman after a long day’s work. I’m wearing pajama pants from my department, reminding anyone at thigh-level what major I am. My face has been obliterated by a face mask that I’ll probably chuck within the week once it takes half of my skin with it. And I was able to say the word “patriarchy” several times across multiple classes. Things are coming up roses for me, and it’s time to wind down. Most women would take this time to do something useful. Like journaling, or meditating, or not pretending that the most work that they did that day was open a textbook and cry. But similar to how our patriarchal society (I got to say it again!) likes for its women to believe in order to pit them against one another, I am not like most women.
For me, it’s time for Ephemeral Rift’s YouTube channel.
“Hello. I hope you are doing well,” the fish person whispers into the camera. “I’m Dave, and welcome to relaxing R’lyehian with Cthulhu Blocks.”
I’m already starting to fall asleep—the highest compliment you could pay an Ephemeral Rift video.
Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, better known by the term ASMR, has been one of Youtube’s largest sensations over the past four years and grows in popularity just a little more each year. ASMR videos seek to replicate the feelings that some people get when they recieve haircuts, hear people whisper, or a variety of other relaxing stimuli: the sensation of “tingling” across their skin. For people who do not experience ASMR, the videos are also helpful for calming down from panic attacks (with many videos dedicated to doing just this), winding down, and falling asleep. I use them for the latter.
If you’re new to ASMR, my discussion of Ephemeral Rift is basically me throwing you into the deep end of this tingly, tingly pool. Most ASMRtists, as content creators in the community call themselves, are not nearly as strange as he is. Their content is largely them tapping on interesting objects, or perhaps roleplaying as a haircutter for an excuse to gently snip scissors near your ears. Ephemeral Rift makes these pleasant sounds in his videos (called “triggers”) as well—it just so happens that when he’s cutting your hair, he’s dressed as a fish person. Which brings me to one of my favorite Ephemeral Rift “characters”, one of the many personas he roleplays in his ASMR videos: Dave.
There’s probably a man underneath the fish skin. But to me, Dave has taken on a personality far beyond a costume. I’ve eaten lunch with Dave. I’ve made him my barber. I’ve even frequented his thrift store. Each video on Ephemeral Rift’s channel might be ASMR, but they all follow a storyline that can be followed from the beginning of the video to the end—if not understood. Dave talks to me about my day as easily as he’ll talk to me about the mental ward I’m apparently inhabiting in his universe. He’s not real, but when I’m constantly opening one of his videos before I go to bed, he might as well be to me. On my most stressful days, where anxiety keeps me awake, concentrating on Dave’s voice helps me ignore my anxious thoughts and go to sleep.
The world of ASMR might be wide and wacky, and Ephermal’s world, wider and wackier—but I’ll always have a home with Dave.
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