Her own face without make-up
Makeup is fun. Some days, it’s your own little creative art project to start the day with. Others, it’s the difference between being on time or being late, or even the difference between going out and staying in. The fact of the matter is, feeling like you can’t leave the house without makeup on can be a massive detriment to living freely. I know what it feels like to think the world would crash down around you if you were seen in public with a bare face, I used to be a slave to this way of thinking. Now, you’d be hard pressed to find an occasion I deem worthy of foundation, and I’m more than happy to do most things a fresh faced ‘beauty’. I’m not saying you need to think you look as amazing without makeup as with – being comfortable with the idea is enough. I remember looking in the mirror one morning when I had no makeup on, and thinking to myself, “you know what? I’m actually quite pretty”. Then a different, nasty little git of a voice in my head piped up with a lovely “don’t be daft, you aren’t wearing makeup”. Now, whenever he* chimes in (which is much less often) I’ve become pretty dang adept at telling him to eff off. Other people care much less than our little gits like to make us think they do.
Her unshaven body
Perhaps there’s slightly more of a stigma attached to this one, but much of the ideas are the same. I know a lot of females, and probably males too (but it comes up less in conversation), that are genuinely horrified at the idea of having their unshaven legs or pits (…or elsewhere…) seen by anyone at all. Let’s be real though. Shaving/waxing/epilating/plucking/praying for your hair to magically fall out of its own volition is a massive pain in the arse. If you don’t have time for that, don’t give time to that. We all need to be about 6 million percent more chill about seeing each other’s bodily hair. I’m not saying we should all start letting our pubes see the sun at the beach (though who gives a f*ck if you do that anyway), just don’t let a fuzzy thigh prevent you from living your life. I blame Medusa’s snake hair for perpetuating the idea that seeing another’s follicles will result in instantaneous stone-ification.
Her unaltered body (eg. Push-up bras, control pants)
Again, I have been shamefully guilty of this in the past. Put simply: if your clothes don’t make you feel good in them, change your outfit to fit your body; not your body to fit the outfit. Pretty much nobody has a perfectly flat stomach, so nobody is going to be offended by seeing a few (endearing) squidgy rolls. They just mean you are a human female. Same goes for push up bras. If anything, just think of the suffering you have to put yourself through. I used to buy control pants two sizes too small for maximum suckage, and I’m honestly surprised I never bruised my ribs (plus the muffin top that got smooshed up into underboob territory is much less flattering than a regular one). Cleavage is not natural for every set of boobs, it doesn’t make you any more feminine forcing yourself to have it, just a hell of a lot less comfortable. In my opinion, the only place for push-up bras and control pants is to piss off the sexist potatoes that claim women are deliberately ‘deceiving’ men by wearing them.
Being single
Being in a relationship can be great. But so can being single. I understand not everyone has a cat as doting as mine to fill the void, but I am big on the merits of getting to know yourself before you give someone else a chance to shape you. It’s great that we learn from the people we’re in relationships with, but sometimes time alone is a grounding reminder of who we fundamentally are. Seeking a relationship is a fool’s errand. We really have very little control of when we might meet someone worth changing our Facebook relationship status for, so don’t waste time and emotional energy actively pursuing them. Fill your life with things you love, and something worth loving will probably appear in the meantime.
*Yes, I think of him as a he. I wonder why on earth that could be?