For six years we have watched GG, laughed at Blair’s insults, gasped at Gossip Girl’s leaks, cried at the various deaths, and aww’d over the whirlwind romances of Dan and Serena and Chuck and Blair. The finale was a perfect wrap up with a baby Bass, a wedding, a Jack and Georgina pairing (the best!), and of course, the big reveal of Gossip Girl. As we say farewell to the show, let’s take a look back at the top 10 things we’ve learned from Gossip Girl.
1. Be overdramatic. In every situation. 95% of the time.
GG for all its worth, is a teenage soap opera. Run around gesturing your hands wildly, like an Italian. Text all your friends and go viral with any information you have that will ruin someone else’s life or will advance your own. Overreact to everything that goes wrong. Scream, slap, storm out. Repeat. And yes, it is the end of the world.
2. It is socially acceptable to refer to your sort-of-friends as “minions” and classify your real friends in clichés
I don’t even remember the names of Blair’s minions but I can recall their idiocy, their penchant for scheming, and their love of all things plaid and bow adorned. Friends should be referred to as their most stereotypical feature, (e.g., Nate-Pretty Boy, Serena- Upper East side Princess, Dan- Outcast).
3. Lying will always end in a mess
Dan lied about his relationship with Serena (oh, and being Gossip Girl). Serena lied about having sex with Dan. Bart kicked it after lying about oil smuggling. Nate lied for the Spectator. Blair lied, well, always. The entire show is based on the entanglement of lie after lie and it never ends well.
4. In times of need, channel your inner Blair Waldorf
When all else fails, find your inner queen bee (and more importantly your queen B). To be said queen bee, you must be witty. And scheme like its’ nobodies business. Add fabulous dressing, rocking confidence, and a no holds barred attitude and nothing will stop you.
5. Secrets, secrets are no fun, because they’ll eventually be shared with everyone
Anonymity covers this show in a blanket of hidden secrets and awful reveals. Even at the bitter end the characters still haven’t learned that if you don’t want to air your dirty laundry, you shouldn’t have it in the first place.
6. Always choose the bad boy. Life will be far more interesting.
Because what good story ever starts off with, “and I could tell he was nice and we would live happily ever after”?
7. Sometimes, being a crazy bitch is just what you have to do.
In the words of Blair Waldorf to Georgina Sparks, “Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.”
8. Nick names are the key to everything.
Lonely Boy. Queen B. They are even better if terribly witty and insulting. Mother Chucker. Hipster Weasel. Jenny Big Boobs.
9. If you ever think a relationship is over, you are totally, absolutely, glaringly, wrong.
How many times have Blair and Serena ended their relationship? Serena and Dan? Blair and Dan? Lily and Bart? Lily and Rufus? Nate and well, women? Have I made my point yet?
10. Chuck Bass is amazing. End of Story.