Being in a sorority has so many benefits. It is hard to even know where to begin! As a member of a chapter, you have gained a very unique support system. But what happens when you begin to feel a crack in the foundation of this system? When we’re entrenched in the chaos of sorority life, we sometimes find ourselves confronted with conflict. Her Campus has compiled 10 ways to fend off the drama, and move on to a better sisterhood!
1. Don’t be Passive-Aggressive
You live in the chapter house and your roommate always comes in late and makes a ton of noise. What do you do? Certainly not talk to her about it. No, you decide that making even more noise is the best way to go. Right? Wrong. Sisters, let’s put an end to the cringe-inducing drama starter that is passive-aggressive behavior. These kinds of actions may give you a smirk of satisfaction in the moment, but they won’t solve your problem in the long run. “My sorority has a page on Facebook and there are CONSTANTLY girls posting messages to ‘everyone’ when in reality, they're subtly calling a certain person out,” says a collegiette who wishes to remain anonymous. “If you have something important to say or talk with a sister, do it in private and don't put it on Facebook for your entire chapter to see. You may think you're dodging a confrontational bullet by being passive-aggressive, but it only makes things worse.”
2. Put it into Perspective
Drama is like a celebrity. In the heat of the moment, it gets all the attention. It is the “it” thing to talk about. And yet, in a flash it can become old news. If you find yourself in a spat with a sister that seems especially upsetting, remember this: even if it feels like everyone is talking about or thinking about the drama between you and another person, you probably just need to give it a little time to simmer down. While you wait, make a conscious effort to be courteous to the people around you. You can’t change the fact that you’re being talked about, but you do have control over the one-on-one interactions you have with your sisters.
3. Promote Sisterly Bonding
Noticing a lot of tension during chapter? This doesn’t necessarily mean your sisters aren’t getting along. Perhaps midterms are just around the corner. There’s an illness going around. Whatever it is, it isn’t anything a good old sisterhood event can’t fix. If you see someone feeling especially hostile or gloomy, combat it by asking her to hang out. Going to a movie is a great way to cure this kind of issue. It will give you and your sisters a chance to sit back and spend an hour or two not worrying about stresses in your lives. Plus, this shared experience will give you positive stuff to discuss instead of the negativity that was making things tense in the first place.
4. Get Out of Greek Town
When you’re a member of a sorority, it can be incredibly easy to get caught up in everything Greek. This is not always a bad thing. It’s great to be involved with your organization! However, it also means that you are around the same people all the time, which means conflict may be brewing. This isn’t because you aren’t great friends; it’s probably just because you need a change of scenery on occasion. “I live in my sorority house so there can be a lot of estrogen flow sometimes! I just try and make sure I spend a lot of time out of the house during the day, whether that's at work or in the library or in class,” says Alexa, a sophomore from James Madison University. “I think it is important to have friends outside of your sorority too, even if they are in another one!”
5. Going Out? Keep Your Lips Sealed
A sorority girl is committing a serious error if she badmouths girls in her chapter (or another chapter) when she is out and about. It makes your sisterhood look damaged or nonexistent. If word gets out that you were caught doing this, it could have some seriously negative effects when it comes to recruitment next year. Who would want to be in a sorority that talks trash on each other in a public setting? Probably not you, and definitely not an incoming freshman who just wants to make friends and find a family away from home. If you need another reason why this is a bad idea, this also makes you look bad in front of guys. Say you go out to a fraternity, perhaps looking to get asked out on a date. If a guy hears you spewing drama, he will run the other way, and fast!