Rachel Peck

After a break-up, the last thing you want to hear is "cheer up!" when all you want to do is watch re-runs of A Wedding Story on TLC and cry.  Let yourself process the emotional loss - breakdowns and tears are accepted as part of the catharsis.  You should never feel pushed to ignore the inevitable pain. But at a certain point, when you're ready to take a hot shower and put down the box of tissues, here's how to get over the jerk who I hate for breaking your heart:
 
1.Plan a movie marathon
No The Notebook, no Titanic, and nothing starring Meg Ryan or Matthew McConaughey.

2. Get a haircut
Changing how you look changes how you feel. Plus you’ll have an excuse to go out with your new blow-out.

3. Change your scenery
No need to blow your savings on a long weekend in Hawaii (although…), even walking around a new neighborhood reminds you there is, in fact, life outside your bubble.

4. Treat yourself to a dinner with friends
Good food. Good friends. Enough said. You deserve it.

5. Clean your room
When you live in a sty you feel like a pig—clean up! It’s amazing what a difference a good vacuuming and a little air freshener can have on your mental well-being.

6. Listen to Ella Fitzgerald, Billie Holiday, and Etta James
You should be doing this anyway, but especiallyafter a break-up. Strong ladies with charm and soul make you feel good. End of story.

When our grandmothers wanted to use a man for his money, they’d have to dial him on a rotary phone, put on a modest sweater set and knee-length skirt, enjoy an expensive steak, and then be home by college curfew…the good old-fashioned way. 

Half a century later, the desire to supplement a modest student budget and hit the town in a fancy (faux) fur remains—but, oh, how the game has changed.

Today, a growing number of strapped-for-cash undergrads are signing up for “Sugar Daddy” websites—sites that make explicit the age old “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine” social contract.  Love in exchange for cash.  (Or at least a fabulous pair of Manolo Blahniks.)  It’s a simple equation: beautiful young women post pictures and profiles in the hopes of attracting eligible, wealthy (oftentimes older) men to fund their expensive tastes. 

But to skeptics and critics, the most surprising aspect of this growing cyber-trend is the new clientele: smart, attractive, driven women on prestigious college campuses pursuing competitive degrees.  They call themselves “Sugar Babies”—a term that initially sounds more like a sour candy than the class of entrepreneurial businesswomen they claim to be.  They admittedly treat themselves as commodities with market value, to be bought for expensive gifts or a fair price (sometimes listed as up to $10,000 per month). 

You make the decision to send him a text. You find the perfect witty excuse.  You re-write it…twice.  You spend three minutes deciding if an exclamation point is too eager.  You erase and re-enter a smiley face—too desperate? You consult with a girlfriend.  You take a deep breath.  You press ‘send.’  And then he doesn’t respond.
 
There’s nothing worse than an unreciprocated text, it’s the modern-day equivalent of getting stood up (but worse, because it remains in your phone as a constant reminder of your failed flirting).  Before you beat yourself up and vow to cancel your unlimited texting plan, read this list of the of the 100 reasons—the good, the bad, the far-fetched, the fun, and the really depressing—why he hasn’t responded to your text.

You can only read the menu so many times before eventually deciding on the lasagna, lowering the wine list, and making grown-up conversation with your date.  For the nights when the witty dialogue you rehearsed in front of the mirror is failing you, pull out these go-to conversation starters to silence the metaphorical crickets. 

“Tell me about your family. Brothers? Sisters?”

Families are complicated. Everyone has a crazy uncle or a messy divorce or a long-lost twin that they’re not trying to bring up over appetizers. But they also have funny stories that you’ll relate to—who hasn’thad a weird family secret revealed at Thanksgiving after Grandma got a little too tipsy. By asking about his family without prying or probing, you can learn a lot about your date.  And maybe even his equally handsome long-lost twin!

“So are you a movie person or a TV person?”

Warning: Do not ask this question if your taste in either movies or TV shows is incredibly lame. (“Oh you like The Godfather? I’m a huge fan of Stomp The Yard…”) But, if you watch a show you’re not embarrassed to admit you enjoy—generally speaking this excludes all Bravo, TLC, and Oxygen programming—ask away.  And don’t let him get away with worshipping Weeds when everyone knows Breaking Bad is better.

“What’s the best trip you’ve ever been on?”