Joanna Wood

More by Joanna Wood

Hidden Spots of New Haven 3/5/2012	Despite the extra day tacked on to the end of February, the most obnoxious and depressing month of the year, (Valentine’s Day, Groundhog Day, Floral Print Day….need I say more?) Spring Break 2012 is upon us. Feel free to thank a religious figure, some higher power, or the Yale Administration for providing us with the earliest, longest spring break known to man. Two weeks of reprieve from The Have—long enough to reflect on the semester thus far, make absurd resolutions for the last 8 weeks of the term, and promptly forget our plans after copious amounts of time spent in a near vegetative/comatose state of mental and physical recovery. That being said, the return to New Haven is inevitable. However, our return also means the lackadaisical days of springtime sun are fast-appraoching to remind us that we are, in fact, living creatures in need of more than the meager light provided by energy efficient halogen bulbs (who thought it was a good idea to build a library underground??). Yalies that have not seen daylight since the midterms are spotted on cross campus frolicking, lounging, and chatting. Such activities remind us there is more to life than securing a summer internship, social networking, and cultivating the perfect, all-encompassing resume that is tailored to highlight our suitability for a position of prestige. My point: We are back in New Haven. There is no avoiding it, so may I suggest expanding your horizons, jumping off the “New Haven is a slum” bandwagon, and actually working up the nerve to explore some of the lesser known locales? I promise it will bring satisfaction to your sensation-seeking itch.
Surviving Midterms: Caffeine Highs and Lows 2/25/2012	Midterms are upon us; Bass is as crowded as the Toad’s dance floor on a Saturday night, and people are, well, actually studying in the stacks. Innumerable hours are spent reviewing notes, cracking open textbooks, and figuring out what combination of font size, spacing, and margins allows you to write the bare minimum for your term paper due at midnight. In light of the stress and pressure stemming from the number of people in your review session who have memorized the entire course packet despite claiming to have “just started studying 46 seconds ago,” a vast majority of frazzled students turn to drugs to cope. Yeah, there are the obvious choices. Drinking that third (fourth?...fifth?) cup of coffee to pull an all-nighter, which is bound to be followed by several celebratory long island iced teas from Amigos, a “mind eraser” a la Box 63, or alternative methods to handle this thing we call “life” at Yale. If you are like me, or 80% of Americans, you consume caffeine on a daily basis--especially in the weeks surrounding exams. Little known to many, caffeine is the world’s most abused drug. Here are the basics: caffeine is a stimulant that tricks your body into feeling more awake when your actual level of alertness remains unchanged. On the plus side, studies show that if you are tired and show signs of fatigue, consuming caffeine is correlated with improvement on basic working memory and concentration tasks. On the other hand, excessive amounts of the drug can leave one feeling jittery and anxious, and it actually decreases memory and concentration.
Single Girl Woes: Tragic Pick Up Lines 2/20/2012	Here is a brutally honest account of the worst pickup lines and one-liners I’ve received thus far this semester. To the men who inspired said article, worry not, your identity will remain anonymous. All I ask is that for the sake of Yale women’s mental, emotional, and sexual well-being you strike said phrases from your collection of suave. “Want to leave? We could go to my room and listen to some Bossa Nova.” “I’m emotionally damaged. Aren’t you into psychology? Don’t you want to fix me?” “Are you up for another night of tea and candles?” “I go to Yale, too. I mean… I work there.” “Are you a freshman?”
Sh*t Yale Girls Say 2/17/2012	In honor of the popular “Yale Memes” and the revolutionary SHT (insert whatever stereotype you wish) SAY movement, I have decided to provide you with a compilation of statements that frequent the conversations between Yalies of the gentler sex. WHITE GIRL PROBLEMS “My Bioethics and Law textbook is so huge it doesn’t even fit in my Longchamp!” “I lost my (insert expensive item) at Zeta last night.” “People are too sensitive here. I mean, I can’t even make racial jokes.” “Want to shop it with me?” “If you wear that without tights, you’ll look so Qpac.” “My Yale ID photo is so embarrassing.” “Let’s catch up. Study date soon?” “I got it at Urban, actually.” “Let’s call a minibus.” “I just want to dance!” “I didn’t want to do anything so I told him I was on my period.” "There are no attractive straight guys here." DAMSELS IN DISTRESS (IN THE DINING HALL) “ I wish I could eat that entire dish of cheese stuffed ravioli... It’s too bad I’m committed to a gluten free lifestyle now.” “Is that vegan?” “Are you kidding? I love the tofu apple crisp!” “I’m just so sick of the dining hall food.” “I think Peggy hates me.” “They call this coffee?” “Oh my god, they have roasted cauliflower today!” “Let’s do brunch this weekend.” SHT (FRESHMAN) GIRLS SAY “It was so romantic, last night we were dancing at Toads…and then he kissed me!” “Can I add him on facebook yet?” “Are you a freshman?” “What college are you in?” “We should grab a meal together!”
Acquaintance Rape at Yale 2/11/2012	A few weeks ago, Chief Ronnell Higgins’ email outlining a reported case of acquaintance rape stirred up the ongoing discussion of Yale’s misogynistic sexual climate. Obviously, there is a problem—reoccurring incidents of sexual misconduct have led to a Title IX investigation. A new-found administrative panel was established to discuss the factors contributing to the imbalanced culture that drives negative sexual attitudes on campus, as well as hot blooded opinions and vitriolic rebuttals. First off, allow me to clear up any misconception surrounding the term. Acquaintance rape is defined as being subjected to unwanted sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or other sexual contact through the use of force or threat of force. Sexual coercion is defined as unwanted sexual intercourse, or any other sexual contact subsequent to the use of menacing verbal pressure or misuse of authority (Koss, 1988). I apologize for the dry, technical definition, but the gravity of the phrase can only be conveyed in such a serious tone. So now we can move forward on the same page. Obviously, I found the reported case of acquaintance rape disconcerting, yet the email itself encouraging. The courage it took to report an act of unwanted sexual contact, especially involving someone you know, is (in my opinion) beyond bold and daring. It is heroic. I commend the fierce girl who took it upon herself to serve justice, set an example and draw a hard line.
Yale Sorority Recruitment 2012 1/31/2012	Monday, January 30th marked Yale Panhellenic Society’s bid night for Yale undergraduate women who are now officially a member of one of Yale’s three sororities on campus: Pi Beta Phi, Kappa Kappa Gamma, and Kappa Alpha Theta. During recruitment, all three sororities prepared for the increase in number of underclassmen women who entered the 2012 process. In 2011, 204 Yale women rushed a sorority, the largest rush group since sororities were established on campus in 1985. As interest only seems to be increasing, Yale is considering adding a fourth sorority. This may become a reality sooner than anticipated if interest continues to grow at such a rapid rate. At Yale, Greek life is very different from that of larger universities where affiliation with a sorority may determine one’s social circle. Not to say that certain stigmas don’t come with Greek lettered paraphernalia, but it is more than just a social outlet. A sorority serves as a connection to a community of alumnae, a sisterhood that represents something larger than you. Networking is a large part of the sorority experience. With a connection to numerous Greek alumnae that hold positions at companies worldwide, sisters are able to extend a helping hand to undergrads in search of summer internships and first jobs. Additionally, sorority life at Yale is much more low key compared to other colleges. While it is still a great way to form new friendships and make new connections, affiliation with a sorority by no means limits your social circle or stigmatizes you as a “sorority girl.”
Holiday Charity Gifting 12/15/2011	The other day at lunch I was sitting with a group of friends in Trumbull, enjoying the festive holiday decorations, complete with twinkling tea lights, miniature live poinsettias and glitter trees. We were seated in prime view of the gorgeous full sized Christmas tree and indulging in the array of holiday cookies, eggnog, and decadent pies and cakes beautifully arranged for students in honor of the season. In the spirit of the holidays, we began discussing our lengthy and specific wish lists. That is, until Anne spoke. “Well, my mom wanted to get me this Marc Jacobs purse I said I liked, but instead I think I’m going to ask my parents to fund a surgery for a child that needs a cleft palate surgery. Did you know that for 200 dollars you can fund the entire surgery? I just think that would be so wonderful and I have enough stuff as it is,” she said in the most unassuming, non-judgmental, and conversational way. As anyone does, I have a list of impossible-to-buy-for-she-has-everything friends and family members. Initially, I was planning on writing this article on the pros and cons, the do’s and don’ts of various holiday gifts. For instance, the merits of cologne, perfume, sweaters, jewelry, et cetera. But this lunch conversation spurred my interest and inspired me to go online and Google ‘holiday charities.’
Chocopologie Intern: Kimi Goldstein '14 12/7/2011	Walking into Chocopologie, I was struck by the cozy, welcoming atmosphere. Twinkling Christmas lights lined the front display windows and branches with green and red Christmas ornaments hung from the ceiling. Tasteful vintage furniture and desks lined one wall; a sea-foam green coach with an old black trunk placed before it as a table was tucked in the back of the single room. The mirror covering the back wall listed the day’s confectionaries: chocolate covered pork rinds, seasonal bread pudding, molten chocolate cake, chocolate fondue to share, and lastly, a list of crepes; nutella banana and pumpkin apple caramel peaked my interest. The smell was almost intolerable, in an amazing way. Scents of chocolate, frosting, and warm baked goods fill up the shop. Word of advice: don’t go in hungry. Or with your credit card. On second thought, what better way to deal with the stress of finals? Retail therapy at it’s finest. When I entered the shop, Kimi Goldstein, one of the six Yale interns chosen to learn the art of gourmet confectionary, was standing at the back counter. She was wrapped in a dark gray smock and standing in front of a large silver mixing bowl heaping with cookie dough that was smattered with the biggest chocolate chips I had ever laid eyes on. As we spoke, she methodically pinched off generous portions of the dough and rolled them between her palms. HC: What got you interested in this internship?
Demystifying Planned Parenthood 12/4/2011	Pro-life versus pro-choice: where one stands in regards to abortion law can serve as an indication of where you stand in the spectrum of politics. Abortion continues to be a hot topic, especially with primary elections fast approaching. Many Republican candidates have signed a pledge promising to strip funding from Planned Parenthood and appoint pro-life judges upon election. Two serious Republican candidates, Mitt Romney and Herman Cain, have yet to sign said pledge, although Cain takes a firm stand against abortion and Romney advocates the reversal of Roe v. Wade, arguing states should handle the issue. On the other hand, Obama has staunchly worked to appoint pro-choice senators and lawyers to federal positions and provided extensive funding and support to pro-abortion organizations nationally and internationally. According to a poll conducted last year by CampusReforms.org, an organization that examines “leftist-biased” universities, 67% of Yalies identify themselves as Democrats, 21% as moderate, and 12% as Conservative. Yale’s already muddied political waters are stirring with recent news regarding Mississippi’s “Personhood” Amendment and Republican candidates’ vow to defund Planned Parenthood.
Logan Hart '15 11/15/2011	Name: Logan Hart Hometown: San Francisco, California College: Saybrook Year: 2015 Watch out, ladies. He’s not your average “Cali bro.” Not to say that he isn’t the dreamy blue-eyed blonde that draws us Midwestern girls like moths to a flame. If I were a moth, I would be burnt to a crisp, more so than even Silliman’s hand-breaded chicken tenders. Logan is a freshman on the Yale heavyweight crew team. Dressed in khakis and a smooth gray t-shirt, he is the picture of casual cool. We sit down in the corner of Calhoun common room to conduct our interview, or “grill him”as he puts it (another reference to being scorched is unintentional, but perhaps apt as my eyes sweep over the t -shirt that fits him like a shadow). HC: You are on the crew team, yes?

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