Allison Cossman
More by Allison Cossman
 Helping a Friend in an Abusive Relationship3/30/2012 |
You have a friend. She just entered into a relationship with her dream man. He is tall, dark, strikingly handsome, and knows all right things to say to woo your friend into a crazed obsession for him. He is all she ever talks about, thinks about, dreams about, and soon he becomes a frighteningly all-consuming presence in her life. “You’re spending too much time together,” you warn her. “We never see you anymore,” you tell her. She brushes your comments under the rug, and leaves to spend another twenty-four hours straight with her main man. Before you know it, you only see her at class because he doesn’t think you are a good influence on her. She stops hanging out with her best guy friends because he gets jealous. She can’t have girl’s-nights-out anymore because he doesn’t trust her. She is being controlled by a man and cannot escape his grasp. When she tries to run, he pulls her tighter. Though she is afraid to admit it, she has found herself trapped in the middle of an abusive relationship and is crying out for help. Though this situation is fictional, it resembles real-world scenarios that happen far too often on college campuses across the country. According to the 2011 Liz Claiborne Love is Not Abuse College Dating Violence and Abuse Poll, 43% of college women have experienced violent and/or abusive dating behaviors. 57% of students who claim to have been in an abusive relationship say it happened during college. With such a widespread prevalence of dating violence on campuses, it is unfortunate that 58% of students reported that they would not know how to help a victim. Understanding how to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship and learning how to help someone who may be too afraid to help herself can truly save lives. |
 Celebrate Your Singlehood2/8/2012 |
With Valentines Day around the corner, it seems like couples are pairing up left and right, leaving you, the perpetually single one of your friends, to rot. You find yourself wallowing in self-pity with a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s Half-Baked ice cream while all of your coupled-off friends are spending late evenings out with their boyfriends. You watch The Bachelor enthusiastically in hopes that you can experience a vicarious relationship through Ben and Casey B’s interactions. Unfortunately, it is about time these pathetic attempts at self-consolation come to an end because you, despite your frail, vulnerable outer shell, are extraordinarily stronger than you believe. So stop pining over your ex or hopelessly wishing for a valentine, and start celebrating your single status! Here’s how to take advantage of your freedom (AKA: your singlehood) and live everyday of your self-sufficient college life to the fullest: 1. Have an actual girl’s night out: Yes, an actual girl’s night out where the focus is friendship. Not a pseudo-girls night where spending time with girlfriends at a bar is only a front to a night spent scanning the bar for hotties. Have a night where you go to bar for no other reason than to enjoy the company of the friends that have made your college experience the best years of your life, the friends who have and will be there for you through thick and thin, the friends that made you smile when he made you cry. Get all dressed up, pregame with some old-school Destiny’s Child and Spice Girls, and head to bar where you spend the night dancing the night away with your best friends by your side. Make the goal of the night to be the last ones off the dance floor, rather than being the first ones home with a guy. |
 New Year, Same You1/17/2012 |
As college girls around the country begin the New Year once again, their minds become engulfed in the countless resolutions they plead to fulfill once again. Year after year the resolutions become stagnant: lose five pounds, find a hot boyfriend, get all A’s, land a high paying job, become more stylish, and the list goes on and on. Despite the hundreds of resolutions that make your annual self-betterment list, what is the one item that consistently fails to make the list? Love yourself. Loving yourself means accepting your flaws, your insecurities, and your self-doubts and appreciating you for who you are. Not a flatter stomach from now, not a successful love life from now, not even a better GPA from now, but loving yourself exactly as you are at this very moment. |
 Should I Study Abroad?11/17/2011 |
Eight months ago today, I boarded a Virgin Atlantic plane to London, England. My heart pounding as I went through security, I feared leaving behind the bubble of Ann Arbor I had spent the past two-and-half years getting comfortable in. I said goodbye to my loving friends, boyfriend, and family, and tried to do anything possible to prepare myself for the adventure of a lifetime that lay ahead. Five months later, I returned back to America with an open mind, a wealth of experiences, and a new circle of friends who had shared in an unforgettable journey with me. I walked across the London Bridge, drank wine in front of the Trevi Fountain, posed with the Eiffel Tower behind me, explored The Guinness Factory, laid out on Italian beaches, all the while learning more about myself than I ever thought possible. |
 She's a Slut, He's a Player: Demolishing the Double Standard10/10/2011 |
A guy walks into a bar. He spots a wildly attractive girl across the way, walks up to her, and offers to buy her a drink. She agrees, and the two spend the next few hours talking and dancing the night away. She goes back to his place and the two have sex. In the morning, she slips on his sweatpants over her mini skirt, wears his sandals which are 6 sizes too big for her feet, and carries her high heels all the way home. During the notorious “Walk of Shame," she hears passersbys mutter words like “slut” and “whore” under their breath. He exits his room and gets a high five from his male roommates who shout “nicely done player." |
 Love Your Booty9/12/2011 |
As the school year begins once again, girls all across Ann Arbor are stripping down to mini skirts and halter-tops, desperate to utilize their summer fashion before the treacherous Michigan winter begins. Walking across campus and eyeing all the girls in their short sundresses and skimpy jean shorts, your Black Berry buzzes. You have a new Facebook event invitation. “Psi Sigma’s Welcome Back to School Pool Party” the invitation is titled. “Ladies-wear a bikini” the event description reads. Though for some, this invite may bring about extreme feelings of excitement, a desire for endless partying, and an anticipation of the fun-filled debauchery that lies ahead, for you, it brings about feelings of intense dread and anxiety because of that one, little, heartless word, “bikini”. The thought of hundreds of fraternity guys and sorority girls staring at your body makes you cringe, because you are under the impression that your boobs are too small, your thighs are too big, your arms are too flabby, or your stomach is too pudgy. You just aren’t skinny enough. |
