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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

The TikTok Viral Birth Order Dating Theory Is Blowing My Mind

TikTok has recently popularized the birth order dating theory, and it’s making me want to fall down a rabbit hole of research and conduct a deep dive into every celebrity relationship ever. Apparently, the order in which you and your siblings were born, or lack of siblings altogether, may directly impact who you’re drawn to dating-wise and how successful that relationship is. Jaw: dropped. 

Toni Tone, a Sunday Times bestselling author, posted a TikTok on March 17 all about birth order and marital success. Tone says that “unions of individuals with different birth orders are actually generally more successful than unions of individuals with the same birth order.” Citing an article she read called “How Birth Order Affects Marriage” by Dr. Kevin Leman, Tone explains that “firstborns rule, middleborns mediate, and lastborns charm.” This leads to a higher divorce rate in people who are both firstborns because they can disagree more often. She explains how Dr. Leman believes that the highest divorce rate is actually an only child with another only child because it may cause both to fight for attention. Apparently, Tone says the most successful marriage is when a firstborn marries a lastborn. Although there are definitely exceptions to these statistics, consider my mind blown. 


Apparently you’re more likely to divorce if you marry someone with the same birth order as you! So if you’re the eldest child, maybe marry a youngest child to be on the safe side – and vice versa! 👀😅 #marriage #divorce #siblings #couples #dating

♬ original sound – TONI TONE

The birth order dating theory is not only blowing minds, but also blowing up TikTok too. TikToker @iammichailatyson posted a video explaining that she’s the eldest daughter who has only ever dated the youngest sons who happen to have older sisters. “It makes so much sense that I have gravitated towards men that are looking for mothers and that the role I stepped into was mothering those men,” she said. 

TikToker @Jordan_The_Stallion8 had his own thoughts on the birth order dating theory and his video exploded with over 4 million views. He stresses the importance of knowing if the person you are dating has siblings and, if so, which sibling they are. He says that the oldest siblings are “not great at communication” and are very “goal-oriented,” younger siblings are “really talented at one thing” and “constantly need to be reassured that they are loved because they’re used to being coddled,” and that middle siblings are “quick to cut people out of their lives” because they’re not used to attention, but are also hilarious. He didn’t mention anything about only children, though. As an only child myself, I’m offended. 

Gen Z has responded in the way we usually do when we get new information: with memes. A self-proclaimed middle child @jordanatheresa posted a TikTok about how she’s shook that she’s only ever had relationships with firstborns. A user commented, “What the hell is the birth order dating theory cuz I’m a middle child too and have only ever dated first borns…”


i’m a middle child by the way!! but birth order dating “theory” freaks me out 😦😦

♬ OH MA GAWD – meg💌

What do you think about the birth order dating theory? Are you seeing any similarities in your own relationships? All I know is that Zendaya is the youngest sibling and Tom Holland is the oldest and they seem to be thriving (I hope this doesn’t age poorly), so maybe this birth order theory is onto something…

Zetta Whiting

Chapman '24

Zetta Whiting is a Her Campus intern who writes for the Style verticals of the site. She has published articles in the Voice of Orange County, ChapBook Magazine, and 60 Seconds Magazine, ranging from local government news to student life stories. Zetta had the opportunity to interview the authors of the Goddess Girls and Disney Fairies series for 60 Seconds Magazine, where she uncovered what it takes to be a successful children's book author. This spring, Zetta will be graduating from Chapman University with a BA in English journalism and a minor in dance. She plans to move to the East Coast and attend graduate school in the fall, studying publishing. In her free time, she enjoys reading young adult fantasy novels, taking dance classes, and listening to Beyoncé.