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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

These 21 Clever Valentine’s Day Pick-Up Lines Are Perfect To Try On Your Crush

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No matter what your relationship status is, everyone needs a little laugh on Valentine’s Day. Whether you’re comforting your single self, flirting with the casual fling, or hanging with your loving SO, you’re comfortably dedicated to, what better way to spread a little laughter than with a selection of cheesy pickup lines? From the cringe-y to the clever and cute, and everything that falls in between, here are 21 funny pick-up lines to use this Valentine’s Day.


If you’re chatting up a new interest on Tinder, messing around with your friends, or just in the mood for a funny Valentine’s Day quote to brighten your day, this list covers all of those categories. And with clean and dirty options, you can dole them out, however – and to whomever – you see fit this season of romance. So good luck, and have fun flirting all February long.

1. You know what’s on the Valentine’s Day menu? Me-n-u.

And hopefully some delicious shared apps and entrees, too.

2. Did you put Snickers in your valentines? Because you satisfy me.

There’s nothing better than a delicious heart-shaped Snickers for a little Valentine’s snack.

3. I think you dropped something… my jaw!

In fact, I might need help picking it up.

4. This Valentine’s Day, let’s make like fabric softener and Snuggle.

First, we snuggle, then get “Downy” and dirty later on.

5. My magical watch says you aren’t wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!

If only time travel was real.

6. Are you on the Starbucks menu? Because I like you a latte.

Can’t wait to “espresso” my love on Valentine’s Day.

7. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I tell Cupid to shoot you with that arrow one more time?

Hopefully, Cupid will be on call all day.

8. My hand is so heavy, will you hold it for me?

A timeless classic, rarely fails.

9. Hey, are you my college loan? Because you’ve got my interest!

Because if you don’t laugh about it, you’ll cry.

10. Are you going to kiss me this Valentine’s Day, or do I have to lie to the group chat?

The group chat knows all.

11. You know what you would really look beautiful in this Valentine’s Day? My arms.

Aw, so wholesome.

12. Oh my God, you’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

And that is saying A LOT!

13. You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime… maybe this Valentine’s Day?

It could be naps, or it could be something else. ;)

14. Oh, that shirt has to go… but you can stay!

Maybe you can even help them take it off.

15. Thank God I’m wearing gloves today because you are too hot to handle.

It might be a chilly winter, but there is warmth to be made, for sure.

16. You’re so sweet, you could put Hershey out of business.

And their kisses are better than Hershey’s Kisses.

17. Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you in my dreams.

Thank God it wasn’t in a nightmare.

18. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy.

And I’m over the moon for you.

19. Are you a La Croix? Because you make me feel all bubbly.

And your eyes shimmer like Sparkling Ice.

20. I’m sorry I didn’t get you any chocolate for Valentine’s Day, but if you want something sweet, I’m right here.

Because you know you are better than any candy on the market.

21. They can’t fit what I feel for you on a conversation heart.

It would have to be a massive heart.

Hope these funny, cute pick-up lines make your crush or partner absolutely swoon this Valentine’s Day. XOXO

Maddie is a senior at Boston College, where she spends her days fawning over literature and Art History textbooks. She was previously an editorial intern at Her Campus, and is now a HC contributing writer and blogger. Follow her on twitter @madschmitz for a collection of vaguely amusing tweets.