Love or Career–that heartbreaking dilemma many women are forced to make. Any collegiette™ could tell you how hard it is to get an internship. Who could make a change that dramatic and a sacrifice so huge for a boy? As it turns out, a lot of us could – and have.
Of course, there’s only one explanation: these girls are just crazy in love.
And, of course, being in love comes with some expectations. Beatty Cohan, a psychotherapist who specializes in marriage and relationships, explains that one of the steps for a successful relationship is compromise, and these girls are willing to make significant compromises for the sake of their relationships. “It is essential to discover your partner’s attitude and level of skill in dealing with conflict and compromise early on in your relationship,” Cohan says. “Unless you and your partner are committed to acknowledging, addressing and resolving issues, your partnership will be doomed.”
Here are some stories from collegiettes™ who made extreme compromises for love and the sake of their relationships…
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Traveled Far
Not all girls in long-distance relationships are willing to change schools for their boyfriends. Instead, they have to go the distance.
Kelsey Cummings from West Virginia University, proved how far she was willing to go when she traveled all the way from New York City to Chicago to spend only 48 hours with her boyfriend. “I don’t regret my decision because, at the time, it was what I wanted to do, and I was so excited to see him,” Kelsey says. “My friends did think I was out of my mind for spending all my money on a 48-hour trip!”
Kelsey explains that she learned from the experience, and she finds that her flexibility and commitment has benefited her relationship.“My relationship is very strong, and we are able to get through a lot of things because I am willing to go out of my way to make things work,” she says. “Although he does so in a different way, we both work at making our relationship last every day.”
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Changed Plans
Heather Rinder, Her Campus contributing writer from Syracuse University, didn’t have to worry about traveling long distances in order to see her boyfriend at the time, who was in California for the summer after her freshman year.
What was supposed to be a two-week trip turned into a semi-permanent situation after she was offered a job and a place to stay in California for the summer. “It sounded appealing, and I didn’t have a job or anything set up at home for the summer,” Heather says. “So I called my mom, canceled my flight and lived in California until August.”
Heather says that changing plans for her boyfriend showed him how much she cared about him and the relationship. “I was willing to give up a summer hanging out with friends at home in order to spend it with him and his friends,” she explains. “I think it helped us in the sense that it kept our long-distance relationship going for a while longer.”
Although Heather is no longer with that boyfriend, she doesn’t regret her decision to stay all summer. “No matter what decision you make or what ‘crazy thing’ you’re doing for love, don’t regret it,” she says. “If it doesn’t work out as planned, find something positive that you can take away from the experience. In my case, it helped my relationship short-term, but we ended up breaking up later on. I still don’t regret it though – there were other things about the experience that helped me grow as a person. And I also definitely enjoyed the summer with him at the time, of course!”
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Missed Opportunities
Unfortunately, not every collegiette™ can completely change her schedule in order to spend more time with a boy and seize great opportunities.
Nicole Lumbreras, University of Iowa campus correspondent, gave up an internship in another city (in addition to a spring break trip and a semester abroad) to spend more time with her boyfriend.“My boyfriend said when we first started dating that love, to him, is about making sacrifices for the other person, but they don’t seem like sacrifices because you are more than willing to do it for them,” Nicole explains. “And, as we’ve been dating, we’ve realized that’s true.”
Despite the magnitude of the sacrifices she’s made, Nicole doesn’t regret making any of them. “I may sound like a silly girl who is giving up who I am for him, but I’m not,” she says. “I am just adapting for love.”
Rearranged Priorities
Not everyone who has changed plans, traveled far or missed opportunities finds herself pleased with the results of her decision.
Mollie Munro, Baylor campus correspondent, traveled 14 hours to Canada to be with her boyfriend and missed spending Christmas and New Year’s with her friends and family back home – a mistake she won’t be making again.“My parents were very skeptical and warned me, but I went anyway,” Mollie says. “I definitely do not regret this decision, but I will also say that I will never do anything like that again. I learned my lesson, and it was not worth my time, effort or money – especially while being a broke college student.”
It just goes to show you how far some people are willing to go for love. While not everyone ends up living happily ever after, there are fairy tale endings to going to such extremes. Just ask Danai Kadzere, Her Campus contributing writer. “My mom moved all the way from Germany to Zimbabwe to marry my dad,” Danai says. “I’d say that worked out pretty well, though I may be biased!”
Before doing something extreme for a partner, Cohan reminds girls to evaluate what both you and your partner are putting into the relationship to ensure you’re not being taken advantage of. “If you share good chemistry, look carefully at the compromises you have to make,” Cohan said. “Certain compromises and trade-offs are okay to make, but certain situations should never be tolerated under any circumstances.”
Nicole also offers advice to collegiettes™ thinking about doing something big for their boyfriends. “Really think about if your guy is worth giving something up for,” she says. “Do you 100 percent trust him? Do you love him? More importantly, are you IN love with him? If you cannot answer these questions without doubting yourself, don’t sell yourself short, and go for that internship in another state or for that semester studying abroad.”
So collegiettes™, what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done for someone you care about? Let us know!
SOURCES:
http://collegeapps.about.com/od/transferring/tp/reasons2transfer.htm
http://collegeapps.about.com/od/transferring/tp/5-Bad-Reasons-to-Transfe…
http://www.ecampustours.com/campuslife/collegebudgets101/datingonacolleg…
http://www.womenshealthreview.co.uk/my-husband-is-too-tired-for-sex/
http://chicagocollegelife.wordpress.com/