Straight from the Horse’s Mouth: Real Guys Weigh in on the Guy Advice You’re Getting

• “Just coming out and saying, ‘I like you’—sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t,” Basil says. His tip: If you’re interested, “be flirty and give some signals so he knows you’re interested,” like sitting on his lap or laughing at his jokes.

• THE ADVICE: Offer to pay the bill after an evening out. VERSUS: have him pay for the date.
• WHAT HE SAYS: “Call me old-fashioned, but the guy should pay,” Dan says. And Steve agrees, though he adds that it’s always a nice gesture for the girl to offer. When you’ve been dating for a while, it’s more socially acceptable for a girl to contribute to the check.

• THE ADVICE: Let him be the first one to bring up going exclusive. VERSUS: if you like the guy, go for it.
• WHAT HE SAYS: The guy should make the first move to only seeing each other, Steve says. But ultimately, it depends on the type of guy. “I think some guys are naturally shy and wouldn’t want to bring up an uncomfortable subject with someone they’re just getting to know, so they may need a nudge,” he explains. But for a girl in a dating situation that consists of only ritual weekend hook-ups, he suggests that the girl bring it up—the guy’s probably pretty satisfied by having the best of both worlds: casual sex with no strings. 
• At the same time, University of Notre Dame junior Patrick McDonnell supports ladies who are a little more forward: “If you’ve been casually dating for a little while and you really like him, it’s not bad to bring it up.”

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Tech-Savvy

• THE ADVICE: Don’t populate his Facebook wall with cutesy messages.
• WHAT HE SAYS: False… at least, partly. Wall posts are welcomed, Patrick says. “But don’t bombard it. [Covering] his entire Facebook wall is a mistake,” he cautions. The high frequency makes a girl appear needy. But even as often as once a day is okay—if you’re dating. Just remember that your messages will mean more if you don’t post them so often.

• THE ADVICE: Don’t update your relationship status on Facebook immediately after he asks you out.
• WHAT HE SAYS: “Personally, I think it’s important to signify somehow that you’re together,” Nick says, so he considers switching from “single” to “in a relationship” on the social networking site perfectly acceptable. “After the first two dates, if they went well, you should be okay with updating a relationship status,” he says—as long as you’ve had that conversation. (Don’t sign in to change your user profile without talking to him first!) But if you’re interested in casually dating and would like to keep your options open, don’t make the switch.

• THE ADVICE: Guys prefer text messages to phone conversations.
• WHAT HE SAYS: It depends on the conversation, but the best plan may be a mix of both calling minutes and texts. Confirming plans, for example, may be done via text message, Patrick explains, while longer, in-depth conversations may be saved for over the phone or in person. “‘Hey, how’s your day?’ can go either way, but you don’t want to tell a whole story over text,” Basil says. ‘How was class?’ would be text-appropriate, he specifies. Leave the stories about your own bad day for the next time you call.

First Date

• THE ADVICE: Don’t chow down on a big meal when dining out with your guy—you don’t want to look like a pig.
• WHAT HE SAYS: Don’t skimp on your meal to appear extra petite at the dinner table, but don’t order an expensive, extravagant entrée either. Rather, eat a normal amount. “First impressions are important,” Patrick admits. “But if she got a burger and fries I wouldn’t mind at all. I trust a girl that eats burgers and fries.”

• THE ADVICE: Don’t ask about previous relationships, or voluntarily talk about your own.
• WHAT HE SAYS: Leave it out of the first date, definitely. “In most situations, that’s not a good thing to bring up until down the line, when you’ve reached a level of comfort,” Steve says. Though he considers himself fairly open about the topic, he knows friends who would be less so. “Talking about it could signal to the guy that things are going too fast or getting too serious, which can be scary if they’re not ready for it.” Patrick adds, “I don’t want to hear about it, especially if the guy is extremely attractive, an athlete, or famous. Unless it’s Johnny Depp—that I’d want to hear about on the first date.”

• THE ADVICE: No sex on the first date.
• WHAT HE SAYS: You don’t want to give off the impression of being too easy, Steve says. Though there needs to be some sort of physical relationship, having sex on the first date sets the wrong precedent. Patrick backs Steve, adding, “If you’re looking for a serious relationship, sex is not for the first date.”

How to Behave

• THE ADVICE: Go out of your way to befriend his buddies.
• WHAT HE SAYS: “It’s important that they know each other and can chat without awkwardness,” Nick says. Start by joining his circle of friends for a weekly screening of their favorite television show. Not everybody needs to be best friends. In fact, getting too chummy with one of his friends may appear as though you like his pal better than him.

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• THE ADVICE: Dumb yourself down a little when talking to guys—so as not to damage their egos.
• WHAT HE SAYS: Never compromise your intelligence! “I don’t like dumb girls; what the hell am I going to talk about [with them]?” Patrick reasons. “Preferably, I like a girl that’s smarter than me. The last thing a guy wants to do is feel like he’s dating a child.”

• THE ADVICE: Guys love spontaneity: surprise him at his campus job or dorm.
• WHAT HE SAYS: Men need their space and may not appreciate frequent, out-of-the-blue drop-ins. “In college, I find myself very busy, so I wouldn’t necessarily appreciate surprise visits all the time,” Nick says, but he’d welcome an unannounced visit every now and then.

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