As the end of college looms closer and closer, don’t you wish there was an impartial listener who could finally give you straightforward advice on all your senior spring love quandaries? Your friends are sick of hearing about it, your mom insists, “I’m sure you’ll know what to do when the time comes,” and your advisor keeps wanting to talk about irrelevant things like finding a job and ordering your cap and gown. And as much as you tell yourself it’s time to start focusing on graduation, you can’t help getting distracted by what’s going to change between you and your guy at school.
Never fear, because the sage love doctor who brought you the “Hook-up At Home Guide” and the “Hook-up at School Guide” brings you the “Senior Spring Love Guide.” Whether it’s wrapping up a relationship or revealing a four-year long crush, Her Campus gives you the advice you’ve been hoping to hear.
Senior Spring Love Dilemma #1:
“I’m in a serious relationship, but we are both moving to two different cities after graduation.”
While long distance relationships are notoriously difficult, it’s definitely worth trying if you really think you have found someone special. Weigh the pluses and minuses before making your decision, and have a talk with him about it to see what he’s thinking.
Possible pros and cons and things to consider:
- What will your work schedules be like? Will you have enough vacation time as entry-level employees to take time off and visit each other?
- Will you have enough money to pay for travel expenses and can you afford to take time off from work?
- Is he a good communicator? Does he like talking on the phone? Skyping?
- When was the last time you were single? Check out the top five best things about being single to see if you’ve forgotten how great being single can be.
- Do you think you might just be scared to move to a new place “alone”? Remember, independence is fun and that rush of excitement from tackling a new city as a young adult is a rare opportunity you may not have again.
- Are you moving to the new city with friends from school and home, or will you be completely on your own? If it’s the latter, you might be scared to lose the sense of security that comes with a relationship rather than the relationship itself.
The majority of surveyed seniors felt they would stay together despite the long distance, and these seniors emphasized that if it’s meant to be, it will work out:
“I would give it a try! You can re-evaluate the relationship at any time but you never know until you try whether it will work out. It’s so silly to give up a good thing. You sustain the relationship until it ceases to make you happy. Fight for it.”
“I am in a relationship in which we’ve been dating for 4 1/2 years but are planning on living in different cities for the first time. Ultimately we will have to figure it out but we won’t break up right away!”
“If it’s meant to be, it will come back around!”
Out of 50 anonymous surveyed college seniors:
- 45% said they would stay together despite the long distance.
- 30% said they weren’t sure since it’s a tough situation.
- 12% said they would suggest starting an open relationship.
- 13% said they would end the relationship because it’s time to start fresh in a new city.
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Senior Spring Love Dilemma #2:
“I’ve been hooking up with someone for most of spring semester and it’s not anything ‘official,’ but I really like him and want to keep seeing him after graduation.”
The majority of surveyed seniors said they would take the risk of rejection and suggest continuing to see him or her over the summer. One senior commented, “You only live once. I think the risk of rejection is no worse than the potential of never seeing them again.” If you truly do enjoy spending time with him, it’s likely he enjoys spending time with you, too and isn’t quite ready to stop seeing you, even if you will no longer go to the same school.
Is your relationship with him really casual? If you will be in the same area and it’ll be convenient to continue seeing each other, just nonchalantly tell him with a flirty smile, “You know, since we are going to be pretty close to each other after graduation, I wouldn’t mind if I saw you around sometime.” No guy can say no to that.
Is your relationship with him pretty intimate? Tell him straight that you enjoy spending time with him and don’t want to stop: “Just because we won’t go to [insert college here] anymore doesn’t mean we can’t keep seeing each other.” Guys like it when you don’t beat around the bush (especially because our coy movements tend to go over their heads).
Out of 50 anonymous surveyed college seniors,
- 51% said they would suggest continuing to see him/her over the summer. “What’s the worst that can happen?”
- 33% said they would wait to see if he/she brings it up first. “If he/she likes me, I’m sure they will suggest it.”
- 8% said they would just let it fizzle out because, “it’s not worth the potential rejection.”
- 8% said they’re not sure since it’s a tough situation.
Senior Spring Love Dilemma #3:
“I’ve had a secret crush for a while that I have yet to do anything about.”
He loves me, he loves me not…
This is one dilemma widely held by most college seniors, and many colleges have taken the initiative to design senior week hook up traditions that can help these secret crushes come out from hiding. If your school doesn’t offer one of these options, you may have to summon a little courage on your own.
I’d suggest taking this senior’s tactful advice: “Assuming that I am on a conversation basis with them, I would probably just come out and say it like, ‘by the way I’ve thought you were cute for like 4 years now,’ laugh about it as I was saying it, and make being so bold into a joke so that they don’t feel like they have to anything with the information. If they are interested they will probably respond that they have had their eye on you too, if not they will laugh along and be grateful for the ego boost (I don’t see that as rejection).”
It will definitely be easiest to tell him about the crush like it’s a joke, and if he laughs it off as well just take it with a grain of salt. Maybe he will go home and think about you crushing on him, and then the next time he sees you he will be tempted to talk to you. If you never see him again it’s not the end of the world to be rejected – you really do have nothing to lose.
Out of 50 anonymous surveyed college seniors, (who could select more than one option)
- 57% said they would just try their best to hook up with the crush at a party during senior week.
- 43% said their school does have a senior spring hook up tradition, like the Senior Seven or the Last Chance Dance, and they’d just enter the crush into the database and see what happens.
- 25% said they would just tell him/her and see what happens because “it’s better to finally just let them know after all this time.”
- 14% said if they haven’t don’t anything about it for four years, why would they start now, he/she clearly isn’t interested.
- 3% said they’re not sure since it’s a tough situation.
While in the end only you can know what’s best for your post-graduate life, if you really want something, just go for it. Collegiettes™ shouldn’t let a little thing like shyness or fear of rejection get in the way of their happiness. Remember, you only live once.
Sources
http://cdn.thefrisky.com/images/uploads/long_distance_love_c.jpg
http://images.dpchallenge.com/images_challenge/0-999/636/800/Copyrighted_Image_Reuse_Prohibited_471547.jpg
Anonymous college seniors