Have you ever felt as though you must be on an episode of Disaster Date, only to realize that there are no hidden cameras – this is really happening? You get an allergic reaction to something at dinner and need to be rushed to the ER? He shows up to your dinner date with his mom in tow? These awful date night scenarios actually do happen to many collegiettes™. Unless you’re very lucky, or very smooth, you can probably name at least one awkward date situation that’s happened to you. Here, Her Campus lays out what you should do to make these awkward moments pass and save your date from the “Worst Dates in History Hall of Fame.”
Awkward Situation #1: Kissing Crisis
Sometimes, kissing may not be the perfect, romantic end to your date – instead, it’s a nightmare! Kissing crises occur all of the time, on first dates or even the millionth date with your BF. Here are some kissing accidents and how you can fix them!
He is a really, really terrible kisser
Some guys have never learned how to kiss properly. Collegiette™ Lauren once dated a guy who fell into this category.
“Every time we got to that awkward this-is-the-part-right-before-we-makeout moment, he pulled away, but one day, he finally confessed that he was really just insecure about his kissing abilities,” Lauren says. “He explained that the last (actually it was the first) time he kissed a girl he really liked, he froze, and it went badly. I told him it was fine, we’d work through it, and I wouldn’t judge. I thought it would be okay, and I would be able to guide him through it – after all … it was just a kiss! But when he kissed me, his entire mouth swallowed mine. His open mouth covered my closed one, and I know I said I wouldn’t judge, but I was slightly horrified.”
Mandy also went on a date with a horrendous kisser.
“I went out on a first date with a guy who seemed absolutely perfect for me,” she says. “We had great dinner conversation and chemistry. Well, when we went back to his house to watch a movie, he tried to kiss me, which was fine – until he began to lick my face! He was literally LICKING. I asked him to stop so we could watch the movie, and, needless to say, I didn’t want a second date.”
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A lot of girls like Mandy say that bad kissing skills are a deal-breaker. But there’s also a way to attempt to salvage the situation – all you need is a little patience! Gently tell him that his kissing method doesn’t suit you, and then proceed by showing or telling him what to do. Insulting his kissing skills won’t help anything, but if someone doesn’t help him out somehow, he’ll horribly kiss girls for the rest of time!
To avoid hurting his feelings, make sure everything you say is something positive rather than negative. Is he overaggressive with how he uses his tongue? Tell him, “Mike, I really like when we kiss gently and just use our lips, like this.” Resist the urge to scream, “What are you doing with your tongue?” – that will just make him want to run away.
Lauren saved her date by doing just this. “I showed him how to do it by initiating the kiss, and eventually, it ended up okay!” Lauren says. “In that situation, it worked best for me to just take charge and help him out; it made him feel much more comfortable and confident!”
You burp mid-kiss
The fault may not necessarily be his – even if you consider yourself to be a professional kisser, embarrassing things and accidents do happen. You may be in the middle of kissing your guy when you slip on the floor, burp or even worse – vomit! Yes, it sounds gross, but you never know what could go wrong when you’re in the middle of a heated makeout session.
“The best thing [a girl] could do is make light of what happened to dispel any awkwardness,” says Adam, 20. “For example, if she fell down mid-kiss, I’d think it was pretty funny – and sort of sexy I guess – if she responded to the situation by saying, ‘Well, aren’t you going to follow me down here?’”
If you laugh it off – and even turn it into a funny come-on – chances are that he will, too! But no matter what happens, don’t let it ruin the rest of your date. “The worst thing she could do is constantly apologize and let it damper the mood,” Adam says. Laugh, apologize and move on. And if the guy can’t handle it, he’s probably not the type of guy you want to be dating, anyway!
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Awkward Situation #2: The Accidental Misspeak
Remember that phrase “word vomit” from Mean Girls? Whenever we feel nervous – like, say, on a date – there is a much higher likelihood that someone is going to accidentally blurt something out or end up saying something awkward, inappropriate or even insulting. What should you do if that happens to you?
You ‘make a joke’ and end up insulting him
I’m all too familiar with this mistake: your attempt to showcase your “super witty sarcasm and dry sense of humor” leads to you saying something that slightly crosses the line. On a date, this could kill the mood – unless you know how to save the moment.
Right after you make your joke about Texans, and then find out his entire family has lived in Texas for 200 years (…oops!), your best bet is to try a dose of self-deprecating humor. Turn the joke on yourself by laughing and saying, “Look at me, always trying to be funny and in turn insulting someone’s entire family history!” The awkward moment will pass quickly if you keep the mood lighthearted.
Of course, if the insult really hits a sore spot with him, making a joke out of it isn’t in your best interest. In that case, stick to a simple apology, and if he’s a keeper, he won’t hold it against you.
He accidentally, or not so accidentally, insults you
If the guy is the one to accidentally insult you, do the same thing that you would want him to do for you: laugh it off! But sometimes, the insulting may not be accidental. It could turn out that he’s just a total jerk (we all know those guys are out there).
One time, collegiette™ Kaela went on a nightmarish date with a guy who couldn’t stop insulting her! “Almost immediately after we sat down to dinner, things went downhill,” she says. “He started to ask me completely inappropriate questions – for example, he asked me if I masturbated and how, and what I thought about guys masturbating – all on the first date. I just laughed his questions off and joked my way around them to avoid showing how awkward I felt. He was displeased from the reaction that he got from me, so he decided to insult me for the rest of the date. He sat there and told me that I am a ‘fake person’ who puts up a façade to hide my true self and that I’m basically worthless to have a conversation with.”
This dating disaster is more than just awkward: it’s the type of date that makes you never want to go on another one – regardless of whom it’s with! If a date with someone ever spirals this far out of control, accept the fact that it’s beyond the point of saving. Your best bet is to end the date as quickly as possible (so you don’t have to put up with more and more insults!). If you feel uncomfortable calling him out, make up an excuse to leave (in this situation, it’s completely acceptable). “I’m really not feeling well, so I’m going to go home,” will do the trick.
However, if you want to make sure he never calls you again, it’s best to be upfront. “I really don’t appreciate the way you’re talking to me right now, so I’m going to leave,” will let him know that he’s crossing the line.
And please: say no to a second date with him.
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Awkward Situation #3: Bodily Mishaps
Even if both you and your guy are able to say the right things on your date, you never know when a physical mishap is going to happen. And when it comes to the body, there’s not always much you can do to control it!
Your date turns into a trip to the emergency room
These stories happen: one moment you’ll be staring into each other’s eyes over a candlelit meal, and the next you (or him) will be in an ambulance, rushing to the hospital. Whatever the reason for your impromptu trip to the ER – allergic reaction, supreme clumsiness, sudden bout of the flu – the best thing to do here is to play it cool. Sure, your date may be ruined for that night, but how many times have you read stories in magazines about this happening on a first date, and then the couple ends up dating for three years? Even if it’s not a first date, hopefully you two care enough about each other to be there for the other. When you’re both back in good health, reschedule the date. At least you now have a great story to tell everyone.
Awkward Situation #4: Misunderstandings
Sometimes you may discover that you and your date aren’t exactly on the same page. How should you react if you find out that the guy had totally different expectations for your date?
Wait … is this a date?
You could just be hanging out with your platonic guy friend when you find out that he thinks you’re on a date. Collegiette™ Ava once found herself in that situation.
“One of my good male friends from high school and I hadn’t hung out very much since we graduated, but I didn’t think much of it when he started calling me over winter break of our freshman year to hang out,” she says. “He asked me to go to a movie. I was totally clueless, even though he sounded a little nervous on the phone making the plan. By the time we got to the movie, however, it had become all too clear that I was on a date. He even attempted a hand-holding maneuver in the ticket line. I felt really bad since I had already agreed to go out with him (and we were already *at* the movie), but he was one of my good friends and, in my mind, soundly in the ‘friend zone.’ I was tense the entire movie, attempting to avoid any date-ish movie cuddling without being blatantly rude. Immediately after the movie was over, I told him I really had to leave and walked home. I know I should have handled it better (or at all), but we’ve never really talked about it since.”
So what’s the best thing to do when you realize you didn’t think it was a date but he did, or vice versa? Though promptly leaving like Ava did will probably send him the message, a better way to handle the situation is to be upfront with him. It may be hard to do at the time, but it will save you both a lot of trouble in the long run!
Keep it simple: “Dave, I had a lot of fun at the movie with you tonight, but I think you should know that I’m not looking for anything more than friendship.” This will get the message across but isn’t harsh.
If the situation is reversed, and you thought you were going on a date but your date thought it was just a friend hangout, try saying something along the lines of, “Well, it has been fun hanging out with you tonight, and maybe next time we can get a group together to go to the beach.” Mentioning a group hangout will let him know that you want to stay friends with him, even if it isn’t going to be something romantic.
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He expects sex … you don’t
You may get to the end of your date and find out that he expects more than just a goodnight kiss.
If in mid-hookup you realize that he’s expecting sex but you would rather keep things PG-13, your best bet is to say, “Hey, I’d like to take things slow tonight. Is that cool?” By putting it in a casual way, it won’t ruin the mood. Also, adding the “tonight” part suggests that, in the future, you may be interested in taking things to the next level – a thought that would keep any guy intrigued! Of course, if you aren’t yet sure that you want to take things to the next level with this guy, don’t add the “tonight” part.
The best advice about post-date hook-ups I can give? Before even starting your date, decide how far you would feel comfortable going with him. Even rehearse what you’ll say to tell him when you don’t want to go any further. Sound weird? Trust me – practice makes perfect!
And remember: dating accidents happen. So if you find your date spiraling out of control, don’t fret. Anyway, the ridiculous dates often end up being the most memorable ones!
Sources:
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