Broke from calling late night love lines for advice? Looking for the lowdown on the hoedown when it comes to college guys? Real Live College Guy Sean is here to help you pick apart the mind of the average college guy. Whether it’s avoiding that awkward weekend hook-up or full-on relationship advice, Sean is here to save the day!
I recently met an amazing guy and thought we hit it off. That is, until I noticed he playfully flirts with all his friends (girls and guys). Is there any way to tell if he actually likes me or if he’s just being nice? – Confused by a Cutie at Columbia
This is a tough one. I’ve always been frustrated by those people who are playful and flirty with everyone. All it does is mess with your mind and make you want to scream in their face: “Just tell me if you like me!” But until open confrontation about intentions becomes acceptable in modern relationships, you’ll just have to refrain from the shouting.
Fortunately, there are a few telltale signs that this guy may be interested in you. First of all, pay attention to what makes him flirty. Does he constantly make jokes about you being beautiful? Or does he playfully touch you in conversation? In my opinion, touch is a more solid indication of attraction. Aside from this, one good way to tell how he feels is to ask him to hang out with you in a group of mutual friends. Ask to go mini golfing, go-kart racing, or just something that involves movement. Pay attention to his actions. When you’re all hanging around, who does he fall back on for conversation? Since you’re all friends anyways, he has multiple options. If it’s you he goes to consistently, he’s probably interested!
If you want to know for sure, though, your best bet may be just to ask him to hang out alone. However, if you want to be subtle, invite him to a group event rather than directly asking him out. But wait! Oh no! Everyone bailed/you neglected to invite them (you can be so forgetful at times)! When the evening is winding down or if there is a lull in the conversation, perhaps get onto the topic of why he doesn’t have a special lady in his life. Based on what he says, you’ll likely know right away how he feels. Even the shyest of men would take this opportunity to come clean about their feelings.
If you’re too afraid of that, ask him to hang out at a place that’s traditionally reserved for couples. Mention that your friends are hosting a dinner and you’d like to go, but it’s sort of a “couples” thing and you don’t want to go alone. This is perfect because it leaves him with ample opportunity to see what he’s thinking. If he offers to tag along, then he’s probably interested! If he says something else, or avoids this “couples conversation,” then he may not be looking for something serious with you.
These kinds of people are usually some of the most fun people you’ll ever meet. But when you try and get something going romantically, they can quickly become some of the most difficult people you’ll ever meet. The best way to find out is to leave them an opening. If there is an opportunity for them to clearly say how they feel, they’re more likely to take it. Unless they just keep flirting. Then you’ll want to pull out your hair all over again.