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Real Live College Guy Pat: How Can I Be More Confident Around Guys?

If you looked up “hopeless romantic” in the dictionary, Real Live College Guy Pat would be standing there smiling and waving back to you. As a college guy himself, Pat has witty opinions on all the stupid situations guys seem to end up in. From relationships, to friends with benefits, to altogether lacks thereof, Real Live College Guy Pat has all your answers and more!

I am an incredibly shy girl and have an extremely hard time talking to boys. I am studying chemical engineering, which is a program consisting of about 99% boys, so this is a HUGE problem for me. What can I do to feel more confident talking to boys? – Sheepish at Stanford

Sheepish,

Seriously, even the sexiest, most confident girls struggle to talk to us guys about the things we like or understand (like sports or videogames for example), but you’re a huge step above the rest.

You’re in a program surrounded by all the boys you could want (other than Ryan Gosling), doing something they love.

Plus, that’s a great conversation starter and guys love it when girls can hold their own in a conversation about their interests. It’s definitely attractive and it gets you noticed, to say the least. Beyond this, you’re one of the few girls in this program (no pressure, right?), meaning their attention is focused solely on you. Use this to your advantage! You’re one of the first people these guys will think of when they decide they want a girlfriend, hook-up, etc. because of your proximity to them.

As far as what you can do to be confident, getting noticed in class is definitely one way to do it. If their attention is on you enough, they’ll at least be intrigued, if not interested. I stake no claim as an expert in women’s confidence, but I think this general rule of thumb applies across the board: look good, feel good, play good. You know you’re going to see the guys today, but don’t have to get down and dirty in lab. Wear that awesome, sexy new sundress you bought last week. (Seriously, sundresses are heaven to guys. You’re practically asking us to drool.) Studying in the library or hanging out casually somewhere? Don’t be afraid to rock a graphic-T that symbolizes something you love whether it’s your favorite band, movie, or brand. (If it’s Star Wars, you’ll get a ring. I’m not joking.) Appeal to what a guy would notice, but be able to look in the mirror and say, “Yeah, I look hot” before you walk out the door. If you look good, you’ll feel better, and your game and flirting ability will go through the roof. I guarantee it.

And honestly, even if you’re really not confident, fake it. Guys won’t know the difference and a confident girl is always sexy. If we think that you think you’re too good for us, we want you even more. We want what we can’t have, and we want what we think is the best. If you come off as knowing how awesome, sexy and undoubtedly beautiful you really are, plus add a little hard-to-get in there, you won’t need confidence – those Stanford boys will be lining up in no time!

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Pat is a Junior at Merrimack College in North Andover, MA studying Psychology and Communications. Pat plans on pursuing a Master's degree upon graduation, but after that his future plans lie unknown on a blank page, much like his next article. When asked what he wants to do "when he grows up", he simply replies "Make a difference in the world." Pat is a contributing writer for his college's newspaper, The Beacon, and has his own blog. He also openly admits to having read the entire Twilight series and that The Notebook is one of his all time favorite movies. In his spare time, Pat is a diehard Boston Red Sox fan, loves the game of basketball, all things Harry Potter, and enjoying what little free time he can squeeze out of a day. Readers can follow Pat via Twitter at @patbradley99
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