Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problemas? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
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I am really outgoing and not scared of saying what is on my mind. People always say that I intimidate guys and scare them away because of my extreme confidence and how hyper I am. What can I do to make myself more approachable to guys while still being myself ? – Hyper at Hofstra
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Guys are all about self-confident women. To say they aren’t would be complete crap. Do you think guys find Angelina Jolie hot because she’s a (reborn) saint? Rent Tomb Raider and get back to me. We enjoy hanging out with girls who are sure of themselves and confident with everything they do. This confidence shouldn’t be harming your dating pool, unless of course that confidence has turned into an abrasive cockiness. It’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness, and crossing it will definitely put a dent in the list of guys wanting to date you. To make guys more comfortable, try downplaying the excitement once in a while. Nothing’s better than a girl who can relax and just hang out with her guy.
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There is a guy I’m interested in who seemed interested in me. We have hung out a couple times and we even went out to dinner once. But when I text him, he will reply like four hours later. I don’t understand why it takes him literally 4-5 hours to reply to my text. He’ll say, “oh i fell asleep,” but who falls asleep from 1pm-8pm? Should I take his slow replies to mean he isn’t really interested? –Impatient at Indiana
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I’m not a fan of the importance with texting in 21st century relationships, so why don’t you try calling him? Don’t be afraid to press that tiny green button and communicate your feelings. Believe me, most guys will appreciate the effort. Furthermore, instead of focusing on the time it takes for him to respond, try to focus instead on the content of his response. That should be pretty indicative of his feelings toward you. If he still doesn’t answer your calls or return them within the day (keeping in mind unforeseen circumstances), he’s probably not invested in getting to know you better. If that’s the case then, delete the dude’s number right away and move on to your next conquest.
I am a freshman in college. I have hooked up with a couple of my guy friends, but now, things between us are kind of awkward and I don’t know how to make things normal with them again. It’s been weeks and when we see each other we act as if nothing happened or as if we don’t even know each other. How can I avoid the awkward after hookup effect? –Awkward at Arkansas
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Part of the “college experience” is learning how to move past the awkwardness without causing any unnecessary drama. My #1 tip is to follow up any hook-up by going out of your way to interact next time you see each other. When you’re passing by make sure to say “Hi” or to go even further and stop to talk for a few minutes. Sure, it’s nerve-wracking when you’d like nothing more than to stick your head in the sand and pretend it never happened, but moving past the awkwardness right away will immediately help you in the long run. It can also be the start of a friendship, or maybe even something more. If that’s not your aim, though, then at least his appearance won’t have you running for the back door of every house party for the next four years.
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If a girl gives her number to a guy about how long will he wait before he calls/texts her? And how long should said girl wait before she can say, “Forget it”? -Troubled at Tampa
If I were to get a number from some girl (keeping in mind how she looks, etc.), I’d call within two or three days. It takes a good deal of nerve to give your number to someone at random, so most guys will have their interest piqued immediately. If they don’t call within the next few days, cheer up and know that you have the respect of one certain college coed.
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My boyfriend of almost 6 months broke up with me a week ago. I was (and still am) pretty upset; he was my first boyfriend (and a lot of other firsts too…) but I see that it really wasn’t going anywhere. Anyway, he was in a frat that my friends still like to go to (especially because they are friends with him too). How do I handle going to parties there while staying strong, confident, and not making a fool of myself (i.e., hooking up with the first creep who asks my name). I’m also very bad at flirting and travel in a pack of about 6 guys, whom I love but they can be a bit of a c**kblock at times. I would also love to make my ex incredibly jealous and regret ever dumping me in the first place (of course). – Broken at Binghamton
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When going to parties at “his place,” I suggest DD’ing (Designated Driver-ing) the first few. Drinking will make you lose your inhibitions and will probably result in saying (or doing) things you’ll regret. No one needs to be “that girl” crying in the bathroom. By staying sober, you’ll be sure to keep from looking foolish. Getting completely bombed isn’t any way to show an ex you’re over him. Make sure he sees that you aren’t locked away pining for your lost love. Meet new people, flirt a little here and there and make sure to look “fabulous” every time you know he’ll be around. Take a queue from Elle Woods and her infamous Playboy Bunny costume. What? What’s that you say? It backfired? Who cares! She looked great! And Warner totally hit on her!
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