Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problems? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
I don’t like to drink too much at parties, but my boyfriend always ends up way too drunk, and I’m forced to help him home and take care of him. How do I let him know his drinking is getting out of control? – Sober at St. Louis
Before broaching the said beginning-of-alcoholism question, you should properly step back and judge the situation. To someone who abstains from getting regularly wrecked at parties, your boyfriend’s drinking may seem to be a larger problem than it actually is. This isn’t to say that it isn’t—or couldn’t be—a problem. Watch your boyfriend in his natural habitat, and see if he relies on alcohol to meet people or to get along with others. Does he always drink to the point of belligerency? If so, then you’re right, and he does have a problem. I’d suggest letting him know that you’re a tad worried about his love for the devil’s drink. If you’re in a relationship, he probably knows what you think of his heavy drinking, and he should respect that by trying to tone it down a bit — especially when you’re around. If he doesn’t respect your wishes, then you have a much larger problem. But, remember, SSL, just because you don’t prefer to drink heavily, doesn’t mean your other half has to share the same opinion. If it isn’t truly as large of a problem as you think, I’d suggest finding other activities for your weekends together, outside of the party scene. Suggest late lunches or early dinners to get in your requisite couple time. Â
I had been very good friends with a guy until, after a party, we both hooked up (very drunk). We keep avoiding one another, but I don’t want to lose his friendship. How do I bring up that I’m not interested in him without hurting his feelings? –Â Confused at Cal State
Well, first things first: we’re all nearly adults here, so stop avoiding him. That’s a tad uncouth and a bit childish. Liquor makes things happen that probably shouldn’t or definitely wouldn’t happen while sober … So my best morsel of advice is to make a joke out of it. If he’s playing this avoidance game as well, then he probably isn’t interested in white-picket-fencing-it with you, either. You need to confront this beast head on—either with a phone call, a text or a brief interlude at a party. Otherwise, it’ll just keep growing and snowballing into some unnecessary drama. He probably feels just as awkward about this — maybe not even in a regrettable sense — as you do. Make light of the situation and move past it, especially if you have zero desire to repeat the sexual activity. It’s hard to give a specific piece of advice for this type of scenario, but try and remember that pretending that it never happened, or acting like it was some huge deal, will never solve the situation. Address it and move on, my friend.
Photo Sources:
http://www.zazzle.com/beer_drinking_guy_shirt-235183042307251116
http://wantmorecelebs.com/Hookup.html