Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problemas? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
I like an older guy who is awesome, but he won’t take me seriously. Heâs totally hung up on the fact that Iâm still in college, even though heâs only one year out of college himself. I know that we are the same age emotionally, and when he forgets to worry about age we have a great time together and it feels totally right. I hate when he remembers my age and treats me like a kid. How do I get him to realize that Iâm his equal even if Iâm younger?â Younger at Yale
If weâre being honest, here, YY, he may be correct. In my experience, no matter how blurred the line may be between undergraduate and graduate, there is very rarely a time where someone out of college can realistically relate to someone still in the midst of college keggers and 9 AMâs filled with sweatpants. Though you may be wary of admitting it, itâs entirely possible that this guy is more mature than you are. The discrepancies between college undergraduates and graduates maturity-wise are usually far greater than weâre willing to admit. Sure, thereâs a chance that this future romance could work exponentially wellâin my experience that isnât the case, but thatâs that. If youâre dead-set on proving this guy wrong, offer him a night on the town or a coffee break from his dreary 9-5. Give him the chance to hang out in a carefree environment and let the chips fall where they mayâif youâre away from things that remind him of your age difference, heâs more likely to see you for you and less like the college coeds he left behind.
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I am a recent college grad living in an apartment with two of my close guy friends next year. They are both single and attractive, but I have no romantic interest in either. Do you think other guys will be intimidated by my rooming situation?âTentative Tenant from Towson
The only guy whoâs going to be intimidated by that is the guy who would be intimidated by anything else. If you say that there is no attraction between yourself and your roommates then most guys should accept that at face value. But that isnât to say that some unnecessary drinking games or passive-aggressive comments wonât happen from time to time. After all, these are guys weâre talking about. A confident man wonât let your roommate situation alter the way he feels about you, since heâs the one youâre bringing back to your bedroom, not one of your roommates. If a guy ends up being uncomfortable with your living situationâsomething I see as unlikelyâthen sit him down and let him know in no uncertain terms that youâre not romantically interested in your roommates. If it continues to be a larger issue, then this guy may not be quite the guy youâre looking for.
I have a guy that I like, and I really want to show that I relate to him and get âguy stuff,â because if we have things in common heâs more likely to like me, right? But I donât want to get him so much that he starts thinking of me as just another buddy instead of a girl. How do I relate to a guy without becoming one of the guys? â Confused in Colorado
To be totally frank, CC, why in the world would you try and change yourself for any guyâlet alone one that youâre so unsure about? Not only is that quite the unstable foundation upon which to base a relationship, it doesnât bode well for your confidence within the relationship. You canât commit fully to a guy until youâre committed to yourself, and as clichĂ©d as that may sound, trying to make yourself more ârelatableâ for this guy isnât doing anyone any favors. And, thatâs barely touching upon the thin line that exists between tomboy and romantic interest. Thatâs quite the prickly situation to volunteer yourself for, CC. The fact of the matter is that youâre a girl, you are not one of the guys, and thatâs why guysâmost of them at leastâarenât dating their bro-buddies.Â
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