Need polite, concise, pop culture-laden answers to your guy problemas? Our Real Live College Guy Joey (not to be confused with our other Real Live College Guy, Joe) will answer any and all questions about relationships and that ever-elusive beast, the male species, with thoughtfulness and (fingers-crossed) humor.
I’ve had a boyfriend for a few years, and we’ve been really rocky since moving away to college. A few months before I left for school he cheated on me with another girl who he has always been interested in. Despite my friends and family’s wishes, I took him back because I couldn’t stand to lose him or our relationship. At school, I hang out with a few guys, and recently met one of their guy friends. He knows the whole story about my relationship through my friends and always asks me about my relationship. He always tells me that I should end it, says I deserve better and flirts with me a lot. I love my boyfriend, but lately the “other girl” situation has been stressing me out and making me really upset. Moving away to college has taught me so much already and I can’t help but think that there may be something better out there for me. However, the guy I met has never tried to contact me or ask me for my number or anything. Do you think he’s into me, or am I just reading too much into it? – Sadly Confused at State
Of course this dude is into you! No man-beast will be that charming and nice unless he’s interested. In most cases once they discover that you’re attached they’ll simply move on to greener pastures. This guy doesn’t seem like that type, though. And sadly, Sadly Confused, I think that the expiration date on your high school romance is quickly approaching. College is stressful enough without an unfaithful boyfriend. Though you may be wont to admit it, it really is true what they say: Once a cheater, always a cheater. My advice? Cut ties with this guy, because he obviously isn’t worth your time. Take some time to be single and to enjoy yourself, though. It wouldn’t be fair to this seemingly genuine man-beast to jump into something right away.
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I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year and he is amazing. He is always there for me and he’s so thoughtful, but he hasn’t said “I love you” yet and it’s bothering me. Am I making a big deal out of nothing or should I start to worry? – Quizzical at Quinnipiac
Dear Quizzical,
You really don’t have much of a problem here. I highly discourage you from asking said man-beast why he hasn’t said the magical three words. If any of my favorite teen-soaps have taught me anything, it’s that “I love you” takes time. He’s clearly a great guy, so is it really that much of a problem that he hasn’t said it? You’re only in college—it’s hardly the moment to worry about such things. If it’s truly the “time” at which you want to say it, buck up and make the first move. Tell him. He might pull a Ryan Atwood and respond with “thanks,” but that’s the risk you run.
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I texted the guy I like and asked him if he would like to go on a date with me but I never got a response. Now I am not sure if he didn’t take it seriously, as my friends used to always text him that, or if he is just ignoring it. We are meeting up next week at a conference, I asked him to go and he said yes, should I ask him out again? Does he even like me? – Baffled at Brown
Dear Baffled, You’ve successfully baffled ME. In trying to decipher whatever it is that you’re attempting to ask of me, I think that you’re puzzled at his lack of response. To which I say: if he didn’t respond, he is not into you. Broaden your horizons and move on to greener pastures, BB.
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So I’m a little confused about developments with one of my guy friends who I’ve known since the beginning of the school year. We started off as friends, and he would ask me to lunch, and to hang out. Then one weekend, he came and cuddled, and we didn’t do anything. We continued to grab food multiple times a week (he would initiate most of these lunches). Then after a few weeks, we hooked up (just making out). The lunches continued, and then he started inviting me to parties with him. Since, we’ve hooked up (just making out) a few more times. We’ve done this at his room or mine. He will text me randomly, asking how my day was, etc., and after we hook up, he usually texts me first. Now, we still get lunch multiple times a week, and now we’re starting to hang out outside of eating too. (We haven’t had sex.) What is going on??!! Is he into me for a potential long-term thing, or just enjoying a casual hook-up? – Lunching at Lehigh
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I’m delighted to tell you, Lunching at Lehigh, that you’re casually dating already. How exciting! For future reference, my dear friend, if you’re seeing a dude on the regular, as well as macking with them quite often… It’s safe to say that you’re dating. But that doesn’t mean that you’re “exclusive” or anything. That is an entirely different conversation—one that you must have with your man-beast.
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