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Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy Joel: You’re Sick of Hooking Up

Desperately trying to understand the inscrutable mind of the college male? Real Live College Guy Joel (replete with a name way cooler than those of RLCGs Joe and Joey) is here to help you out, call you out, write you a poem to show you’re great and to stop worrying, etc. From major emotional drama to the minutiae of social interaction, use him as your one-stop shop for guy advice.

I’ve been hooking up with this guy at parties for about a month now—he texts me almost every day, but he hasn’t made an effort to see me, except when he’s out partying. I like him, but don’t want to keep doing this forever if he’s not interested in anything more. Should I keep waiting, or call it a lost cause? – Sick of Hooking Up at Syracuse

Sick of Hooking Up,

You don’t live for drunken hook-ups with bros? Shocking. In all seriousness, I think this illustrates an interesting mindset some girls have in their heads. If a guy just texts you at 2am on Friday night to see what you’re doing, then he must only want to hook up. If a guy texts you daily, and is just curious how you are, then he must genuinely like you as something more. It’s not that simple. Lots of times a guy will genuinely enjoy talking to a girl and still just want to sleep with her. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as the girl is on the same page. It sounds like this guy hasn’t really been clear with you, and that is what throws you off.

Since he makes no effort to see you outside of going out, realize that he’s likely not interested in anything serious. Unless he’s led you on by saying he really likes you, I don’t think you should sit down with him to talk about your relationship. If you do like him, take the initiative and ask him to hang out in a non-party setting, where there are no chances of exchanging saliva. If he’s interested, then absolutely see how it goes. If not, just stop talking to him. It sounds as if he genuinely enjoys chatting, but you want a more meaningful connection. You should put yourself out there to test the waters, even though this guy is likely wasting your time.

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