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Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy: I’m Always Initiating Conversation

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong, a recently wrecked relationship or how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Jon is here to help you navigate the college dating scene!

Hi, I’ve been texting this guy that is always busy with basketball, and I’ve hinted that we should hang out when he is available and he agreed, but he hasn’t said anything about hanging out and never asks me questions, it is always me asking him questions. What should I do? – Uncertain at UCSD


You have done enough; it’s time to move on to the next one. 

If you are the only one putting all the effort towards the two of you hanging out, and yet he still won’t make time for you, then he is not interested. By not facilitating any questions or dialogue he is purposely making it more difficult for you to pursue him. This, sadly, is not some ploy to conceal any deeply held feelings that he has for you.  Instead, it a childish, non-confrontational attempt to stop your efforts.  

My suggestion is to stop texting him and find another guy to go after. Any person you consider for a relationship longer than a one-night stand must regard communication as essential. Communication is a two way street: it takes two active participants, each playing the role of speaker and listener. This is what you are missing. When you do find someone with whom you share mutual feelings, he will more than appreciate any efforts to hang out, no matter how busy he is.



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Jon is currently a senior at the University of Rhode Island double majoring in physics and biology with an intent of going to medical school.  He also spent two semesters at in exchange program at California Polytechnic University. Growing up in Rhode Island he loves being on the water and the bay is his second home. Spearfishing and freediving are two of his favorite hobbies.   Follow him @RIBORNRIBRED on Instagram.