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Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy Dale: How Can I Tell if He’s Into Me?

We all need a little guidance now and then, so whether you’re stressed about a fling gone wrong or a recently wrecked relationship, or you’re wondering how to handle a stage-five clinger, Real Live College Guy Dale is here to help you navigate the college dating scene.

I recently met a guy in college in the office where I work. We usually engaged in small talk when he would come into the office. He told me to send him an email so that we could keep in touch. Then, he emailed me his number so that I would call him to hang out sometime. I’m not sure if he is interested in me, since he didn’t ask for my number. So far we have texted every day, but he hasn’t called me. We did make plans through text to go out on the weekend, though. Is this guy interested? –Notes in the Office at Northeastern

Notes,

There seems to be this idea that if a guy doesn’t call, he’s not interested. While that can certainly be true in some cases, there are other possibilities to consider that are just as likely. Maybe he’s nervous, or maybe he hates talking on the phone (and let’s be honest, that’s a very real thing).

To his credit, he at least reached out via email. He took that much initiative to carry on the conversation and contact outside of simple small talk, so that right there should have been your first hint. Your second hint should have come when he sent you his phone number to move the conversation outside of a work environment.

Just like the notion that if a guy doesn’t call first then he isn’t interested, there’s also this idea of which person should reach out first. I’ve met women who are set in the idea that the man should always text first, call first… you get the idea. I’ve also met men who are more than open to the idea of a woman grabbing the reins and making the first contact.

I recently had to lay the issue out for someone: if you like a person enough, you should be okay with opening up the channel of communication first. You can’t just wait for someone to come to you and then get mad when he doesn’t, you know? There has to be effort on both sides.

Is this guy interested? Yes, Northeastern, I think it’s safe to say that this guy is definitely interested. Otherwise, I don’t think he would have agreed to make plans with you!

If a guy doesn’t call you right away, don’t jump to the worst conclusion. People prefer different forms of communication. I personally prefer texting to calling because it’s more casual and I don’t have to worry about tripping over my words, stuttering or dealing with awkward silence. It’s totally possible that he’s the same way.

Just because he doesn’t call you doesn’t mean he’s not interested; it could simply mean that he prefers one method of communication to another. Moreover, if you like this guy, then maybe you should consider calling him first.

Fill out my online form.

Dale Lavine is a 21-year-old college junior majoring in Media Studies & Political Science at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, VA. Outside of Her Campus, his words have been featured in publications such as USA Today College, Esquire, Fearless Men, CoolAppsMan.com, and The Commonwealth Times. When not penning his weekly columns, he enjoys hot showers, naps, Starbucks, and Jameson (neat). Want to know more? Need real-time relationship help? Readers are more than welcome to follow Dale on Twitter (@misterlavine).
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