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Real Live College Guy Ben: How To Rekindle Last Semester’s Budding Romance

HC’s resident Big Man Off Campus has covered topics from fake boobs (overrated) to masturbation (underrated) to unrequited love (frustrated). Now, he’s thrilled to make a guest appearance on RLCG to tackle the brain busters (alliterated) and provide collegiettes™ with uncensored (not really R-rated), unashamed insight into the male inner workings of the male psyche (infiltrated).
 
I went on two dates with this guy during the last two weeks of school and we really hit it off, but once school ended things kind of cooled off. We texted fairly often at the beginning of summer and even talked of what a relationship between the two of us would look like. I haven’t talked to him in about a month and I know I will see him again once school begins b/c we have the same major in a small school. What do I do? Do I flirt? Do I pick up where we left off? Or just act like a friend? There’s absolutely no way to avoid this guy and I don’t know what to do! HELP!!!! – Nervous in Nebraska
 

Dear Nervous,
Avoid this guy? Why? Seems like you want to do the opposite. Rearrange the letters in “avoid,” and you’ve got, “O, diva!” So go, diva, because you’ve got some hustlin’ to do.
 
It’s not uncommon for two strong first dates to turn into some early-summer texting, to turn into a mid-summer fizzle. It’s a typical out of sight, out of mind scenario: summer begins, and you’re busy taking interpretative synchronized wakeboarding lessons (just me?), and he’s busy being a groupie for the B*Witched summer tour (ok, that’s definitely just me). So, the distance that forms between your life and relationships at school is natural. C’est la vie.
 
As we know from Grease, summer lovin’ or, in your case, summer not-textin’ happens so fast. Whatever your summer dreams, they’re quickly ripped at the seams, and fall presents opportunity for new beginnings or, in your case, old ones. Your budding romance didn’t end on bad terms or amidst animosity, because it didn’t really end it all. In fact, it hasn’t even started. Plus, the awareness of your once-mutual attraction is a great foundation for a re-relationship. If I could have one thing in common with someone else, it would be that we both like me.
 
Now, how to go about replanting the proverbial seeds of your Nebraskan romance: It seems like you’re still into him, but you’re wondering if he feels the same. Like scoring smack off the street, you need to approach the situation casually but with caution. Play it cool, make small talk, and gauge his feelings: How have you been? How was your summer? Really, didn’t B*Witched break up in, like, 1998?
 
If he’s still interested, you’ll probably be able to tell, and your romantic crop will begin to re-grow—which is a lot better than it sounds. Maybe he’ll ask you out again. If he doesn’t, no worries. Try to spend time with him in a more laidback setting or amongst friends. Ask about his weekend plans, let him know what parties you’re attending, or see if he’d like to meet up at one those interpretative synchronized wakeboard shows Nebraska is known for. Now you’ve established that you’re interested in spending time together, without being too forward. I wouldn’t be surprised if, as a result, it’s your relationship that moves forward.

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Ben Kassoy graduated from Emory University in 2011 with a degree in English. He is the coauthor of two nonfiction humor books, a former intern at The Colbert Report, and an avid b-boy. Ben is from Bexley, OH and currently lives in New York City. He thanks affirmative action for his position at Her Campus. 
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