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Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy Andy: My Best Guy Friend Is Dating An Awful Girl (& I Have Feelings For Him Too)

A new RLCG? No way! That’s right, we’re breaking new ground at Her Campus and adding some new flavor to the group. Andy joins the team with an innate aptitude for sorting out the good guys from the bad apples and bringing you the best in love advice. Send him your q’s through the form below!

My best guy friend is dating a new girl, and now he pays no attention to me. I’ve been friends with this kid since we were babies. We used to hang out all the time and talk everyday; now I’m lucky if I get a text from him once a week. Before I knew he was into this girl, I had started to like him as more than my best friend. To make it worse, the girl he’s into is not a nice person. My best friend can’t seem to see that. In less than a month, he and I will be in different cities and I feel like he’s wasting his time on a fling. Do I tell him what I think and how upset I am? Or do I say ‘forget you’ and move on? –Bummed at Binghamton

Bummed at Binghamton,

I’ll tell you right now, I hope to hear that you and your friend end up as a couple because good friends can make the best couples! I mean have Monica and Chandler taught us nothing?

As for the problem at hand, it sounds as if your best pal is letting his business do the thinking. It happens. He’s a guy after all. In this case however, I think honesty is the best policy. Go big or go home, right?

If the two of you have been close friends since childhood, then he would be absolute scum if he doesn’t respect you enough to hear you out. So I wouldn’t be overly worried about telling him your thoughts on this new girl and how the two of you haven’t been hanging out as often.

As for bringing up your romantic feelings for him, well, you may not get that chance again, so it seems like a now or never type situation. Do you want to pass that up? I certainly wouldn’t. There is a significant possibility that he has similar mutual feelings for you, and the reward of that being true far outweighs the risks of rejection. Since you are soon to be in different cities, then you won’t have to be around him if he doesn’t return those feelings. As the saying goes, you play to win the game. Not saying anything is playing not to lose. So if you ask me, go for it. Getting turned down may be hard but you will be kicking yourself if you say nothing and find out down the line that he liked you back.

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Photo Credit:
Girlfriend giving man a headache


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Andrew Bensch

San Francisco

Andrew is a rising senior at San Francisco State University majoring in broadcast journalism. While he hopes to some day work in the sports media industry, becoming a professional columnist for a women's magazine is also on his radar. While in college Andrew has contributed sports columns to such sites like Foxsports.com, Insidehockey.com, and Bleacherreport.com. But don't be fooled, he isn't just your typical jock, after all he is willing to admit he actually loves chick flicks like "27 Dresses" "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" and "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". He also enjoys shows like "The OC", "One Tree Hill", "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Teen Wolf" and wonders aloud why more college men don't open up about their love for these types of programs.
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