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Sex + Relationships

Real Live College Guy Andy: He Just Broke Up With His GF, When Can I Ask Him Out?

Do you ever find yourself shrugging your shoulders and settling on the “boys will be boys” conclusion? Real Live College Guy Andy is here to show you that mature men do (in fact) exist. He has an uncanny ability to sort out the good guys from the bad apples and is here to bring you the best in college love advice.

So there’s this guy I met two weeks ago. He’s nerdy (to the extreme, like me), cute, funny, loves Disney, and basically everything I want in a guy. His ex-girlfriend broke up with him about a month and a half ago. How long should I wait before I make any sort of move, and is it okay to flirt with him right now? – Searching for Love at Lehigh


Flirting is harmless in my eyes. As for when to make a move, well, we all get over relationships on our own timetable. Some people will tell you to wait weeks or even months, but that’s all a bunch of hootie tootie baloney beef jerky. Love and dating has no formula, you just have to do what feels right. Use your intuition and gauge how this guy has been feeling after his break-up before making your move.

If he still talks about his ex-girlfriend and how he misses her then you probably want to hold off asking him out. Chances are, he will say yes, but then there would be a high likelihood of a rebound scenario.

On the other hand, if this guy has come to the realization that his ex-girlfriend wasn’t the girl for him, then you are probably less likely to become his rebound girl. In this case you should be able to ask him out without worrying about it “being too soon.” If he is criticizing his ex rather than himself in regards to their break-up, then you should be rather safe to proceed. If it’s the other way around, you might have to give him more time.

Now, if you aren’t sure how he feels about his ex-girlfriend you can always hang out with him platonically, get to know him, and feel him out before expressing your romantic interest. The best advice I can give you is to trust your instincts and proceed with caution. As long as you are aware of all the potential risk factors (too soon can result in a possible rebound and too late will mean he might meet someone else), you ought to make a move whenever the timing feels right.

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Andrew Bensch

San Francisco

Andrew is a rising senior at San Francisco State University majoring in broadcast journalism. While he hopes to some day work in the sports media industry, becoming a professional columnist for a women's magazine is also on his radar. While in college Andrew has contributed sports columns to such sites like Foxsports.com, Insidehockey.com, and Bleacherreport.com. But don't be fooled, he isn't just your typical jock, after all he is willing to admit he actually loves chick flicks like "27 Dresses" "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" and "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days". He also enjoys shows like "The OC", "One Tree Hill", "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" and "Teen Wolf" and wonders aloud why more college men don't open up about their love for these types of programs.
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