There he is again, that cute boy who always seems to be in the same place at the same time as you. You see him lifting weights at the gym, studying hard at the library, grabbing a bite to eat at the cafeteria, and popping up in your friendsâ pics on Facebook. All this has left you feeling like you can finally relate to Madonnaâs 90âs hit âBeautiful Stranger.â You know the lyrics all too well â âYouâre everywhere I go/And everybody knows⊠Havenât you heard/I fell in love with a beautiful stranger.â Heâs a familiar face, but youâve never actually worked up the courage to talk to him, and until you do, all heâll be is just that – a âbeautiful stranger.â
We know from Dr. Michael Crow, Ph.D., professor of Social Psychology at Southern Methodist University, that men are more attracted to familiar faces, but life experiences have taught us that your relationship with him wonât progress until you strike up a conversation. Too worried about what to say? Too intimidated to approach him? These simple tips will calm your nerves.
Men prefer women to initiate direct conversations, says Dr. Crow. They prefer to know why someone is striking up a conversation with them. If you start a conversation with them, is it because you simply want to be friends or is it because you want to advance your friendship even further? Be as confident as Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, because dancing in circles with your words isnât going to get you anywhere, and will most likely make you appear ditzy (and as a well-educated HC reader, we know youâre not!).
âMen don’t seem to appreciate the lewd come-ons suggested by gender stereotypes,â according to the PsyBlog article, âWhy Men Prefer Direct Pick-Up Lines.â So next time you see this beautiful stranger, remember not to be ambiguous, and to save the raunchy humor for later.
âCanned corn involving jokes, baseless compliments and sexual innuendoâlike, âI may not be Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!â received poor ratingsâ according to the Forbes.com article, âThe Ten Worst Pick-Up Lines,â citing a study by psychologists at Scotland’s University of Edinburgh.
The study also found that lines suggesting helpfulness, generosity, cultural literacy and wealth seemed to be the most effective.
Let him know exactly what you want. If you hope to run into him at Fridayâs happy hour, simply tell him. Donât send mixed signals by beating around the bush or playing hard to get.
To eliminate even more of the guesswork for you, here are some pick-up lines you can pull out in different situations:
At the gym:
For the bashful babe: I really like your Under Armour shirt! Where do they sell Under Armour around here? (Heâll love the compliment plus itâs an easy reply).
For the bold babe: Would you mind spotting me while I lift this set? (Heâll feel manly helping you out and be impressed by your fitness).
On line at the coffee shop:
For the bashful babe: I always get a vanilla latte, but I want to switch it up today. What do you get? (Heâll be flattered).
For the bold babe: Iâm scared my drink is too hot. Do you mind taking the first sip to test it out? (Heâll feel like your hero).
At a party:
For the bashful babe: Who are you here with? (You can establish a connection)
For the bold babe: What do you and your friends plan on doing after this party? (Youâll seem social, and we have a feeling youâll be going withâŠ)
In class:
For the bashful babe: I missed class Tuesday, may I please copy your notes? (Psychology tells us that doing a favor for someone makes you like that person more)
For the bold babe: Do you want to come over and study for Thursdayâs test? (Ow ow!)
These pick-up lines should have you well on your way to plenty of date opportunities by Valentineâs Day. Have fun with them! And remember, these are just some ideas to get your wheels spinningâyouâll have the best luck if you just be yourself!
Sources:
Dr. Michael Crow, Ph.D., SMU Professor of Social Psychology
PsyBlog: http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/06/why-men-prefer-direct-pick-up-lines.php
http://www.forbes.com/2006/07/25/singles-pickup-lines-cx_df_06singles_07…