Thanksgiving Eve is coming around and, for a lot of people, it brings feelings of excitement. There’s going to be loads of drinking, dancing, and meeting up with people (some you haven’t seen since your senior prom) to look forward to. While some people are counting down the days until they can get back to their hometown and party with their friends, others can’t wait to get back to their hometown, so they no longer have to survive off ramen. These are also the people who can’t wait to curl up and watch the newest holiday movie without being bothered by discussion posts (feeling seen).
If you’re the latter and can’t wait to get cozy, that makes two of us. But what happens when your plans of a chill night in are shattered by your SO’s desire to go out and party? If you find your relationship dealing with the question of “to go out or not to go out?” this Thanksgiving Eve, don’t be alarmed, bestie. I like to think of the going out topic as a growing pain in any relationship and the only way to get through it is *compromise*.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.
Did I mention communicate? Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship, platonic or romantic. In this case, telling your partner that you’d prefer to stay in is the first step. No matter how well your SO knows you, they can’t read your mind (how many arguments that would’ve saved me) and it’s important to share with them you’d prefer to stay in on Thanksgiving Eve.
After communicating with your partner your desire not to go, they might have some questions. The simple “why?” might come up. Sharing a reason with your partner such as “I’m not in the mood to be super social” or “I want to stay in and watch a movie tonight” can help your SO understand your reasoning for not wanting to go out and it can also reaffirm that the reason you don’t want to go has nothing to do with them (my anxiety just automatically goes there).
Respect Your Partner’s Decision.
After telling your SO you don’t want to go out, you might be in awe that they still want to go. (Hi, I’m the problem for the hundredth time) As much as you wish they’d just cuddle up and watch Christmas movies all night, you have to respect their choice.
Just as you appreciate your partner for not forcing you to go out and party when you’re not in the mood, you have to offer the same courtesy, even if that means you’re cuddling on the couch with your cat while they’re drinking a crappy beer.
Be Willing to Compromise.
If the debate between going out or staying in is one you and your partner discuss frequently, this might be the time to learn to compromise. Relationships are all about give-and-take, and making sure that give-and-take is a two-way street is vital to any relationship’s success.
A compromise looks different for every relationship, so keep that in mind. For Thanksgiving Eve maybe you could accompany your SO to the bar and have a couple of drinks. After those drinks, the group might say it’s time to bar hop and maybe that’s when you and your SO call it a night. That way, you went out with your partner (their desire) and you both can still make it home with enough time to watch a movie (your desire) before you inevitably fall asleep on the couch. A beautiful compromise — what’s not to love?