With the 2024 year’s election in full swing, it’s become impossible to avoid discussing politics. It’s not uncommon for political opinions to rise to the surface of conversations with your friends — but it might not always end well. Having friends with different political views can feel like a difficult thing to navigate, especially during the election season.
According to a 2024 Her Campus survey, 55% of respondents said that friends have helped to shape their political views, with 39% placing importance on having similar viewpoints as their peers. So, what about those friends that don’t align all of the way? What happens then?
Discussing our government with those who don’t share your opinions can be difficult, and even a little intimidating. It’s common that these talks can be met with aggression, leaving both parties feeling frustrated and upset, ultimately causing a rift in the relationship. It may seem like the only outcome of the argument is losing the friendship; but, it doesn’t always have to be this way.
With the 2024 election quickly approaching, navigating friendships with differing views on politics can be the first thing on your mind: Is it possible to be friends with someone who has different political views? And, if so, how can productive conversations still take place during the election cycle? I talked to licensed psychologist Dr. David Tzall, who specializes in relationships, to learn more about navigating this tricky kind of friendship.
You don’t always have to break off a friendship because of differing political beliefs.
Politics can put a strain on relationships, especially friendships. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that, if you and a friend disagree on a particular issue, that friendship has to be over. “It is definitely possible to stay friends with someone who does not share the same values and opinions,” Dr. Tzall tells Her Campus.
In fact, having friends with different political opinions can be beneficial. “Interacting with friends who hold different political beliefs exposes you to a variety of perspectives and worldviews. It fosters empathy and understanding,” says Tzall. What makes the difference between a successful and unsuccessful friendship in this situation, is the ability to practice healthy communication.
But, what does healthy communication look like? “Healthy communication requires actively listening to others without interrupting or judging,” Tzall says. “It involves paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal cues, such as tone of voice and body language.”
Active listening can mean that you’re making eye contact with the speaker, asking thoughtful questions in response, and giving them your full attention. When you’re the one speaking, you want to be heard. Ensuring that you give that same attention and engagement to someone else makes a big difference in keeping a conversation friendly.
“Treating others with respect and empathy is crucial for healthy communication. Being open and honest fosters trust and transparency in relationships. It involves expressing thoughts and feelings truthfully, even if they are difficult or uncomfortable,” adds Dr. Tzall.
Create boundaries to avoid bigger arguments.
Sometimes healthy communication can also mean creating boundaries to ensure that there isn’t conflict between friends. Some good examples of this are: agreeing to not cut each other off, allowing for a break in conversation, and agreeing to disagree.
“If the discussion turns into an argument or becomes emotionally charged, it’s okay to disengage,” Tzall says. “You don’t have to convince the other person to agree with you, and sometimes it’s best to agree to disagree.”
A good boundary is one that’s clearly communicated and practiced consistently. Political debates can get heated when both sides are looking to change the other person’s mind or views. A conversation is just an exchange of ideas, so it’s okay to establish that you don’t want to cross a line in that conversation.
“Clearly express your boundaries and the reasons behind them — be assertive but respectful in your communication,” Tzall says. “Stick to your boundaries even if the other person tries to push back. It’s important to be consistent because the more consistent you are the more you learn to reinforce them and others will adhere to them.”
Know when to call it quits.
Sometimes, even by practicing healthy methods of communication, maintaining a friendship like this can be hard. It can be challenging to refrain from voicing an opinion when it can feel morally compromising to ignore it, but this causes a lot of strain on the relationship. And if there’s a difference in beliefs that feels compromising, or like something you cannot see past, it’s time to let that friendship go.
In the end, it may come down to letting a friendship go because it’s not worth the stress or difficulty. “Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally,” Tzall advises. “Surround yourself with supportive people and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.”
It’s important that you do what’s best for your well-being, and sometimes that may look like making a decision about who you surround yourself with and who brings you peace. Breaking off a friendship is tough, but knowing that it can lead to a stronger, better support system can help you move on from a situation that is no longer serving you.
At the end of the day, the biggest thing to remember is to treat everyone with respect, especially the folks in our lives. Our political landscape nowadays may be more concerning to some than others, and some people may like one candidate more than another. Taking a step back and knowing that it’s okay to have a different opinion than a friend, is one of the best ways to ensure healthy communication on difficult topics! But, if there’s a difference you cannot see past, know that it’s OK to go your separate ways.