Texting in lowercase gives off the ultimate cool vibes, and the 2014 Tumblr girls invented the lowercase text. It means you’re definitely a Gen Zer (because millennials could never), and you’re so casual you don’t even care about basic grammar. But are men just as cool and attractive when they text in lowercase?
So obviously this comes down to personal preference — are you a lowercase girl, or are you an editor in training that calls out peoples’ grammar over text? No judgment, because I’m a combination of both. But, what if I told you that relationship experts have actual answers as to whether or not it’s attractive when men text in lowercase?
I talked to three experts — Sameera Sullivan, Aditya Kashyap Mishra, and Sal Damiata — about whether it’s actually attractive when men text in lowercase, and here’s what they said.
There’s a sense of casualness with lowercase texting.
Picture it: you’re texting a guy you met online, and he’s texting you with absolutely perfect grammar without a single flaw — including punctuation. This might be a little awkward if you’re a lowercase girlie, whereas a text without capitalization might make it seem more relaxed — and even attractive in some cases.
There’s a reason for this. “Texting in lowercase can convey a sense of casualness or effortlessness, and for some, this might seem more laid-back or relatable, creating an appeal,” says Sameera Sullivan, a matchmaker and CEO of Sameera Sullivan Matchmakers. “Imagine Jack texting ‘hey, wanna grab a coffee?’ versus ‘Hey, would you like to have coffee with me?’ The former seems more spontaneous.”
That sense of casualness can also make the conversation itself more comfortable, especially if you’re a fan of lowercase because you’re not worrying about your own grammar. Texting can be a form of self-expression with the way we spell certain words we use or the emojis we favor, and conversations with prospective partners shouldn’t feel uptight and impersonal.
“[Texting in lowercase] creates an atmosphere of informality, making the conversation feel more comfortable and approachable,” says Aditya Kashyap Mishra, a relationship expert. “This style allows for a sense of ease and authenticity, as if the person is chatting with you as a friend rather than trying to impress.”
Lowercase has become so casual that it’s even in pop culture, look at almost any song by Olivia Rodrigo like “good 4 u.” If lowercase texting is your thing, then the casualness behind it might be the perfect thing you need to get the conversation started.
Lowercase texting may be a pushback against traditional masculinity.
Now I know what you might be thinking: I’m a girl and I text everyone in lowercase, is there actually a difference if a guy does it? There might be, according to our experts.
“It may be more socially acceptable for women to text in lowercase, as it can be seen as a sign of femininity or friendliness,” says Sal Damiata, the founder of AttractionTruth. “For men, society may see it as a sign of immaturity or lack of confidence.”
With the rise of “sassy men” on TikTok, or men who are comfortable expressing themselves by tapping into their feminine side, masculine folks should feel comfortable presenting themselves in whatever way makes them feel valid (and yes, that includes texting). Masculinity is a societal construct, and if a man texts sans-capitalization, it could be a signal that they really don’t care about how their masculinity is perceived. And I don’t know about you, but that’s pretty attractive.
Texting is supposed to be informal, but there are limits.
There’s a certain sense of a devil-may-care attitude with lowercase texting, but there’s still a line to draw somewhere. For me, the line is drawn when someone doesn’t know the difference between “you’re” and “your,” “there” and “their,” “where” and “wear,” or “too” and “to.” Any combination of those will drive me insane if used incorrectly.
While not everyone is as obsessed with grammar as I am, there still might be a sense of carelessness if lowercase texting is overplayed. Sometimes, guys who exclusively use lowercase could be seen as a red flag because it might seem like a lack of effort.
“For some, lowercase texting may be perceived as a lack of effort or interest in the conversation or relationship,” Kashyap says. “The absence of capitalization and proper punctuation could be interpreted as a sign of disinterest or laziness. It may lead to concerns about the person’s level of commitment and dedication.”
While lowercase texting doesn’t always display a sense of immaturity, not using correct grammar can definitely get confusing, and no one wants to be attempting to translate texts. “In certain cases, lowercase texting may make it challenging to understand the intended tone or emotion behind the messages,” Kashyap says. “The absence of capitalization can lead to misinterpretations and misunderstandings, potentially causing friction in the relationship.”
There’s definitely some give and take when it comes to lowercase boys, but you can’t deny that a carefree attitude can be attractive. Like all good things, there are limits and basic grammar is also really important and attractive.
My takeaway? Boys, don’t be afraid of lowercase texting. But we should all be spelling basic words correctly, too.