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Wellness > Health

Lose the Freshman 15: My Whole Life I’ve Been Fat…It’s Time to Change That

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You’re all probably wondering why I want to lose this weight, so I guess it’s time I share with you all my reasons behind doing this. And when I say this, I mean choosing to do the Jumpstart Diet, recording my weight weekly and blogging about it for whole wide world to read. 

I’m doing this because it’s time.

Finding happiness with myself and my body is something that I have been seeking for as long as I can remember, and I don’t think there’s a more perfect time than now to finally do this for myself. 

I want to let you all know that my weight is something that I’ve struggled with my WHOLE life. I literally cannot remember a time when I didn’t feel out of place because of my weight in comparison to those around me. My insecurities surrounding my weight date back as far as elementary school when I first noticed that I definitely wasn’t the same size as everyone else in my grade. 
75606 495916683409 520268409 7205868 3053745 nBut for some reason, I just let my weight get the best of me throughout my childhood and my early teenage years. While I didn’t let my weight define who I was, I think that I  definitely let it stop me from fully enjoying my life. Looking back on it now, it makes me sad to think about how I felt about myself growing up. I desperately longed to be someone else, anyone else with a more reasonable body and a more managable weight.

But it wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I realized that something needed to be done in order for me to feel better about myself and my body. I remember one of my lowest points leading up to my big weightloss came during my junior year Homecoming.

I spent weeks looking for a dress that looked good on me and fit me, but I really had no such luck. I settled on a dress that I wasn’t crazy about and didn’t feel comfortable in, and I just remember feeling out of place the whole night. I was surrounded by my beautiful, skinny friends, and I felt like this huge whale that just didn’t belong.
n520268409 322153 6791I was fat and I felt fat. And I couldn’t let myself keep living my life like that.

n520268409 178608 5841I knew that I had to change my life.

So I did. I started following Weight Watchers and I started running. And with each pound that I lost, I gained more and more confidence in myself and my body. By the end of my senior year of high school, I had lost nearly 45 pounds and I was ready to tackle college.

But of course college hit me like a ton of bricks (as it often does) and my life was turned completely upside-down last year. In the best way, of course. But freshman year did wonders to my body, and here I am once again feeling more insecure about myself than I have in years. My weight is in a precarious place, and I’m not happy with it.

I want everyone to know (including my friends) that while I may appear to be the happiest, most outgoing person imaginable, I am also probably one of the most insecure people EVER. I literally cringe when I look at pictures of the person that I used to be, and I’m beginning to feel that same way again.

I know it’s sad, but I constantly find myself comparing my body to the girls around me. I can’t go a day without thinking to myself that I wish I had someone else’s body. And, I avoid looking at myself in mirrors entirely because I’m not happy with the body that I’m living my life in.

But instead of continuing to avoid the issue at hand, I am choosing to FINALLY do something about it. I just want to find peace and happiness with myself and my body and I think that this opportunity will help me do that.

I promise that I will always be the bubbly, happy Sara that my friends and family know and love, but I want to be that person deep down on the inside too.
176511 10150134756778410 520268409 8030292 4723274 oHave you ever struggled with your weight and done something about it? Are you currently struggling with your weight and looking to make a change? Join me on this journey and let me know how your experience is going! 

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Sara Kaner
Sara Kaner was born and raised in Santa Barbara, California and first fell in love with journalism as a freshman in high school thanks to her wonderful Intro to Journalism teacher. A family move brought her to Fort Myers, Florida the summer after her freshman year of high school, but she continued to pursue an interest in journalism. She is in her second year at the University of Florida and is pursuing a dual degree in Public Relations and Psychology. She is heavily involved on the UF campus and dedicates most of her time to her various organizations and to her friends. She loves people, magazines, sports and social media, and she hopes to combine all three in her job someday. For now, she aspires to attend Law School and specialize in Media Law. She secretly aspires to be Chelsea Handler, but she's happy being herself for the moment, just as long as she can lose the freshman 15 this semester.